Hello people, its 31st december 2010.
Can you believe it? The whole year of 2010 just passed by like that. Time pass that fast, so fast that i cant believe its gonna be the end of 2010 in a few hours time.
Well, whatever it is, we cant get back those time that we've lost, so lets just welcome 2011.
2010 definitely has many ups and downs. Many unhappy times, many happy times. I wouldnt say its a great year, neither is it a bad year.
I've met different people, got into different situations which i dont want to, but its through all these which i've learnt.
I've got to know a bunch of good friends, know what's important to me, those people who went through tough times with you.
Well, but i dont deny that 2010 is a stressful year. Seriously, i didnt think that coming into poly would be that stressful, but perhaps its because i dont want to disappoint those people who care about me, thats why, i want to see myself improving.
And it is also in this year, when i keep feeling so empty. Idk why, but there are so many times, when i felt this emptiness within me, its as if you wanted to talk to someone, but there's no one. Not that there isnt anyone by your side, there is, but you just couldnt speak whats on your mind. And you just dont feel like talking, dont feel like doing anything else.
Idk why, yeah, maybe im stress, thats all.
I wonder why 2010 seems extremely short, perhaps its because im busy, pretty much busy this year.
But everything is gonna be over, coz when the new year starts, its a new beginning.
Sooooo, whats your new year resolutions?
Hmmm.... mine?
1. I want to get a higher gpa, do better in my studies.
2. I want to do better in cheer, work hard together with my fellow teammates to achieve our personal goals.
3. I want to be a happy girl! :D
Thats what i thought of so far, coz right now my life is revolving around studies and cheer.
Well, i will add on to it if i thought of more.
So people, happy new year to all of you, in a few more hours time, lets look forward to a better year ahead! :)
December 31, 2010
December 26, 2010
It means nothing, simply nothing
Currently blogging with my phone, so damn difficult to type a post with the phone, so many words, but I'm desperate to blog. I just feel like screaming out, shouting out all the feelings and unhappiness within me.
It isn't the first time. I've tolerated with it the first time, thinking that things have changed for the better, and no, its getting more and more ridiculous.
Yeah whatever, all my fault. I don't want to explain anything, coz explanation means
nothing, nobody believes in it totally unless you prove it to them.
I'm angry, fking angry, at myself for tolerating with it the first time. And angry with the childish act, and judging me in such a negative point of view.
All the misunderstandings started out because others don't understand and they make assumptions.
But I won't explain, I won't try to clear the misunderstanding.
Its not up to me to change anything, its the attitude.
Since it means nothing at all, I wouldn't care a single bit.
Wtf, learn to reflect upon what you've done.
It isn't the first time. I've tolerated with it the first time, thinking that things have changed for the better, and no, its getting more and more ridiculous.
Yeah whatever, all my fault. I don't want to explain anything, coz explanation means
nothing, nobody believes in it totally unless you prove it to them.
I'm angry, fking angry, at myself for tolerating with it the first time. And angry with the childish act, and judging me in such a negative point of view.
All the misunderstandings started out because others don't understand and they make assumptions.
But I won't explain, I won't try to clear the misunderstanding.
Its not up to me to change anything, its the attitude.
Since it means nothing at all, I wouldn't care a single bit.
Wtf, learn to reflect upon what you've done.
December 18, 2010
For everyone, for love.
Hello people!
Enjoying my holidays now, first week of holidays, so what have i done?
Hmmm, basically there were 3 days of training. And ermmm i went shopping, and the other days im resting at home i guess. Oh and yeah, had a thanks giving day with gusto on wednesday, and we had a bbq.
So, we juniors actually have to get a simple gift for the seniors, we were only informed the day before, so we could only do/buy it on the day itself. So in the end we decided to make chocolates for them.
Well, its my first time making chocolates, so im rather noob at it.
But its a fun experience though.
The process.... We spent the whole morning and afternoon preparing for it!
And then we waited for it to harden. okay i know from the picture it looks ugly, but at least it looks nicer after we took it out.
We did the icing, G for Gusto!
And there's the heart shape one.
So for each person, we gave 1 of each. the one with a heart, a G and the one which is in a rose. The rose one is only to make it look nice, though i think it doesnt really look nice.... And the G and heart shape are suppose to represent love gusto.
And finally, all our end product. Our hardwork pays off, after seeing everything packaged up, given to the seniors.
Well, but in fact the girls did most of the things. The guys did help, but just a little. They were watching tv, playing cards all the while!!!
Hahaha, but its fun, i dont mind doing it :D
Okay anyway, im only left with 2 weeks of holidays, gonna spent it wisely.
I wanna go picnic, i've been saying it for many times!
Oh and yesterday i went shopping, hehe i've got more things for myself, including those that just arrived from the blogshop!
And for today, its the last training for this year, as in 2010.
The attendance was really really bad, the worst i've ever seen. But training wasnt that bad though, at least we managed to do that sequence.
So.... looking forward to more upcoming activities this holiday!
And people, do enjoy your holidays too!
Enjoying my holidays now, first week of holidays, so what have i done?
Hmmm, basically there were 3 days of training. And ermmm i went shopping, and the other days im resting at home i guess. Oh and yeah, had a thanks giving day with gusto on wednesday, and we had a bbq.
So, we juniors actually have to get a simple gift for the seniors, we were only informed the day before, so we could only do/buy it on the day itself. So in the end we decided to make chocolates for them.
Well, its my first time making chocolates, so im rather noob at it.
But its a fun experience though.
The process.... We spent the whole morning and afternoon preparing for it!
And then we waited for it to harden. okay i know from the picture it looks ugly, but at least it looks nicer after we took it out.
We did the icing, G for Gusto!
And there's the heart shape one.
So for each person, we gave 1 of each. the one with a heart, a G and the one which is in a rose. The rose one is only to make it look nice, though i think it doesnt really look nice.... And the G and heart shape are suppose to represent love gusto.
And finally, all our end product. Our hardwork pays off, after seeing everything packaged up, given to the seniors.
Well, but in fact the girls did most of the things. The guys did help, but just a little. They were watching tv, playing cards all the while!!!
Hahaha, but its fun, i dont mind doing it :D
Okay anyway, im only left with 2 weeks of holidays, gonna spent it wisely.
I wanna go picnic, i've been saying it for many times!
Oh and yesterday i went shopping, hehe i've got more things for myself, including those that just arrived from the blogshop!
And for today, its the last training for this year, as in 2010.
The attendance was really really bad, the worst i've ever seen. But training wasnt that bad though, at least we managed to do that sequence.
So.... looking forward to more upcoming activities this holiday!
And people, do enjoy your holidays too!
December 10, 2010
We are all different
Life doesn't allow us to have everything, we have to make choices.
And if you don't, you just have to make sacrifices.
But is it worth you sacrificing so much?
It wasn't easy for me to come this far.
But when you are force to make a choice, you just have to choose what's best for you.
I don't feel good either, but we still need to do something about it.
May the storm end soon. Rainbow after the rain, I hope.
And if you don't, you just have to make sacrifices.
But is it worth you sacrificing so much?
It wasn't easy for me to come this far.
But when you are force to make a choice, you just have to choose what's best for you.
I don't feel good either, but we still need to do something about it.
May the storm end soon. Rainbow after the rain, I hope.
December 9, 2010
GOODBYE EXAMS, HELLO HOLIDAYS!
Hi im back for a post.
MST IS OVER! LETS WELCOME THE HOLIDAYS! :D
Ohh my can you imagine? Im actually at home, right after the paper.
I didnt go out, coz i wasnt really in the mood to.
Well, not that i did badly for my paper though, i guess im just tired.
But anw, i'll still be going out tml.
Hmmm so my papers were okay, all manageable i guess. But anw, i dont want to have any expectations, i've had enough of disappointment. And before we get back the papers, i shouldnt think of anything else that might disappoint me in the end.
Alright, i've got so many plans in this holiday.
Most important thing is, do i have the time to do everything that i want to?
And and and, MONEY! SO BROKE RECENTLY! Well i know im always complaining that im broke.
Im intending to watch rapunzel tml, heard its quite nice!
And tml, another shopping trip, though i keep complaining im broke, but end of year shopping is a must!
Okay anw speaking about holidays, let me list out some plans that i have.
1. Photo taking sessions! Definitely a must, have been saying it for so many times without doing.
2. More shopping trips! Seriously there's so much more things i wanna get.
3. Meet ups with fellow 4d1 classmates! :D If not we might not have the time when school reopens. (Hopefully someone will be nice enough to organize a class outing?)
4. Picnic! Okay this is random, but i seriously want to go picnic. I cant rmb when was the last time i go for picnic, or did i even go picnic before?
5. Christmas with gusto! :D
6. Watch movies/ dramas.
7. Get enough rest!
Well, i dont know if i can get everything done this holiday, coz i still have to go back school for training, but one thing i know, i have to get enough rest! I keep feeling so tired, and keep feeling that i didnt have a proper rest, not even during the weekends.
Initially, i intended to work during this holiday, but i guess 3 weeks, or maybe lesser, is too short for me to work right? And most probably, i cant work on sat, tue and thu. Yeah, so i decided, maybe i should wait till mar/apr.
Hmmm anw, seriously, time flies isnt it?
My mst is over, and when school reopens its gonna be a new year.
It doesnt really feel like december now, this year pass really fast right?
Well, to all those who are having their last paper tml, good luck.
And those ppl in other poly who havent start their common test, all the best too, while i can go enjoy my holidays! :D
MST IS OVER! LETS WELCOME THE HOLIDAYS! :D
Ohh my can you imagine? Im actually at home, right after the paper.
I didnt go out, coz i wasnt really in the mood to.
Well, not that i did badly for my paper though, i guess im just tired.
But anw, i'll still be going out tml.
Hmmm so my papers were okay, all manageable i guess. But anw, i dont want to have any expectations, i've had enough of disappointment. And before we get back the papers, i shouldnt think of anything else that might disappoint me in the end.
Alright, i've got so many plans in this holiday.
Most important thing is, do i have the time to do everything that i want to?
And and and, MONEY! SO BROKE RECENTLY! Well i know im always complaining that im broke.
Im intending to watch rapunzel tml, heard its quite nice!
And tml, another shopping trip, though i keep complaining im broke, but end of year shopping is a must!
Okay anw speaking about holidays, let me list out some plans that i have.
1. Photo taking sessions! Definitely a must, have been saying it for so many times without doing.
2. More shopping trips! Seriously there's so much more things i wanna get.
3. Meet ups with fellow 4d1 classmates! :D If not we might not have the time when school reopens. (Hopefully someone will be nice enough to organize a class outing?)
4. Picnic! Okay this is random, but i seriously want to go picnic. I cant rmb when was the last time i go for picnic, or did i even go picnic before?
5. Christmas with gusto! :D
6. Watch movies/ dramas.
7. Get enough rest!
Well, i dont know if i can get everything done this holiday, coz i still have to go back school for training, but one thing i know, i have to get enough rest! I keep feeling so tired, and keep feeling that i didnt have a proper rest, not even during the weekends.
Initially, i intended to work during this holiday, but i guess 3 weeks, or maybe lesser, is too short for me to work right? And most probably, i cant work on sat, tue and thu. Yeah, so i decided, maybe i should wait till mar/apr.
Hmmm anw, seriously, time flies isnt it?
My mst is over, and when school reopens its gonna be a new year.
It doesnt really feel like december now, this year pass really fast right?
Well, to all those who are having their last paper tml, good luck.
And those ppl in other poly who havent start their common test, all the best too, while i can go enjoy my holidays! :D
December 8, 2010
See how time flies,
Well time flies isnt it, its halfway through my mst. And, its december, coming to the end of the year!
Though i shouldnt be blogging now, but i've done my revision, this is just gonna be a short post and im going to bed.
Well anw, im left with 2 more papers, so looking forward to holidays, where i can relax for a little, dont get so stress up.
Well but i guess my holiday isnt really that good, coz i still have to go back for training...
Sigh, im so tired.
Well anw, i didnt know the media is so exaggerating until just now, when i read the newspaper.
It was the chinese newspaper, and they were talking about one of the recent star search contestant.
They said he blamed the role that he got, which caused him to lose. And i guess in actual fact, he only said he felt restricted by that role.
And i think much more negative remarks which he didnt really mention, and yet they interpret in some other way.
Hmmm, now we know how celebrities feel, when they have to deal with this kind of pressure from the media. Just imagine if you were them, and you didnt said such things, and people just misinterpret it, intentionally or unintentionally.
Okay, dont mind about what i've said, im just stating my commends of the media.
Alright, back to topic, so anw im just waiting for my papers to be over, and im gonna prepare lots of activities for myself.
I dont want to rot at home this holiday!
But before that, i need to clear my mst first, do it well!
Alright that'll be all, coming back for another post after mst, wait for me!
Though i shouldnt be blogging now, but i've done my revision, this is just gonna be a short post and im going to bed.
Well anw, im left with 2 more papers, so looking forward to holidays, where i can relax for a little, dont get so stress up.
Well but i guess my holiday isnt really that good, coz i still have to go back for training...
Sigh, im so tired.
Well anw, i didnt know the media is so exaggerating until just now, when i read the newspaper.
It was the chinese newspaper, and they were talking about one of the recent star search contestant.
They said he blamed the role that he got, which caused him to lose. And i guess in actual fact, he only said he felt restricted by that role.
And i think much more negative remarks which he didnt really mention, and yet they interpret in some other way.
Hmmm, now we know how celebrities feel, when they have to deal with this kind of pressure from the media. Just imagine if you were them, and you didnt said such things, and people just misinterpret it, intentionally or unintentionally.
Okay, dont mind about what i've said, im just stating my commends of the media.
Alright, back to topic, so anw im just waiting for my papers to be over, and im gonna prepare lots of activities for myself.
I dont want to rot at home this holiday!
But before that, i need to clear my mst first, do it well!
Alright that'll be all, coming back for another post after mst, wait for me!
December 3, 2010
Things never change, not a single bit.
When you meet with setbacks, you always told yourself to get up and pushes yourself forward.
When you meet with disappointment, you tried to turn it into motivation.
Yes, its easier said than done, things aint suppose to be that easy.
You want to be optimistic, you want to be confident, how can you ever do that if all that you see are failures?
Its just so disappointing, when you have hopes with you, set targets which you thought you will achieve just by working hard, but no, it doesnt turns out the way you thought.
Its so disappointing, when you couldnt even do a simple little thing just to meet up to your own expectation.
I just hate myself for this, why am i so competitive?
I wished i can let go a little, dont take things too hard, but i cant.
Coz i want to prove to myself, prove to others, to everyone.
I just dont know why it is always like that.
Im really wondering, have i made a wrong decision?
Maybe, some people, can actually turn disappointment to motivation, turn failure to success. Coz life is fair to them.
Yeah, but life isnt fair to everyone. In fact, its much more unfair than you can expect.
I just realized, from the past, till now, nothing ever changes.
Whatever i've seen now, is everything which i've seen in the past.
Being strong isnt just about saying "nevermind", "it's alright".
Being strong is just about not shedding a tear, for things which arent worth you crying about.
No, not easy, there arent many strong people around. Even though you tried hard to tell yourself it doesnt matter, dont be sad about such things, but you still will be.
I guess its time to face reality, that sometimes, you just got to fight for every single thing, because you aint as lucky as others.
Well right, even if thats the case, i still wish, that life can be a little more fair, just a little....
When you meet with disappointment, you tried to turn it into motivation.
Yes, its easier said than done, things aint suppose to be that easy.
You want to be optimistic, you want to be confident, how can you ever do that if all that you see are failures?
Its just so disappointing, when you have hopes with you, set targets which you thought you will achieve just by working hard, but no, it doesnt turns out the way you thought.
Its so disappointing, when you couldnt even do a simple little thing just to meet up to your own expectation.
I just hate myself for this, why am i so competitive?
I wished i can let go a little, dont take things too hard, but i cant.
Coz i want to prove to myself, prove to others, to everyone.
I just dont know why it is always like that.
Im really wondering, have i made a wrong decision?
Maybe, some people, can actually turn disappointment to motivation, turn failure to success. Coz life is fair to them.
Yeah, but life isnt fair to everyone. In fact, its much more unfair than you can expect.
I just realized, from the past, till now, nothing ever changes.
Whatever i've seen now, is everything which i've seen in the past.
Being strong isnt just about saying "nevermind", "it's alright".
Being strong is just about not shedding a tear, for things which arent worth you crying about.
No, not easy, there arent many strong people around. Even though you tried hard to tell yourself it doesnt matter, dont be sad about such things, but you still will be.
I guess its time to face reality, that sometimes, you just got to fight for every single thing, because you aint as lucky as others.
Well right, even if thats the case, i still wish, that life can be a little more fair, just a little....
November 30, 2010
One down, more to go.
Hello people, just a short post before i get on bed.
Well, fom project for this term is over! Handed in report today, had presentation today!
Alright, take note of my previous sentence, i said, fom project for this term.
Meaning, next term thr's another one, which is coming really soon, and we have to start it during the hols...
Alright but for this term, at least we've cleared one module, nope maybe two.
Had role play for bc last friday, pretty alright i guess, and grammar test on monday.
Felt so stupid for not revising through the grammar package on bb, coz most of the things are mainly the same.
Hmmm, so mst next week, i've just started on a little, just a little revision ytd, for my econs.
I did my dip plus tutorial just now, which is really so shit.
Dip plus is just like a maths, yeah. But sadly, that particular topic wasnt taught in a maths last time, but i think jc ppl do learn it.
Im like stuck at it, and the teacher teach really fast, i couldnt catch up.
So basically, i was so frustrated, coz i spent about 2 hrs just to do that few pathetic questions?
Reminds me of how i deal with o's in the past.
Alright nvm, nothing is impossible, just gonna try and try.
Hmmmm, tml sch will end at 11! I wanna feel how it's like to go home so early, havent been going home early for really long.
In fact, every wed, my lessons end at 11, but i got gymnast at 7.30, so in the end, even if i go home, i still have to be back in school, so it doesnt make a difference.
Shall make full use of my time tml to revise my work! :D
Well, fom project for this term is over! Handed in report today, had presentation today!
Alright, take note of my previous sentence, i said, fom project for this term.
Meaning, next term thr's another one, which is coming really soon, and we have to start it during the hols...
Alright but for this term, at least we've cleared one module, nope maybe two.
Had role play for bc last friday, pretty alright i guess, and grammar test on monday.
Felt so stupid for not revising through the grammar package on bb, coz most of the things are mainly the same.
Hmmm, so mst next week, i've just started on a little, just a little revision ytd, for my econs.
I did my dip plus tutorial just now, which is really so shit.
Dip plus is just like a maths, yeah. But sadly, that particular topic wasnt taught in a maths last time, but i think jc ppl do learn it.
Im like stuck at it, and the teacher teach really fast, i couldnt catch up.
So basically, i was so frustrated, coz i spent about 2 hrs just to do that few pathetic questions?
Reminds me of how i deal with o's in the past.
Alright nvm, nothing is impossible, just gonna try and try.
Hmmmm, tml sch will end at 11! I wanna feel how it's like to go home so early, havent been going home early for really long.
In fact, every wed, my lessons end at 11, but i got gymnast at 7.30, so in the end, even if i go home, i still have to be back in school, so it doesnt make a difference.
Shall make full use of my time tml to revise my work! :D
November 27, 2010
Just a little more,
Omg im finally done with the stupid shit fom report, though i think we still got to do some editing on monday.
WTF, im really freaking hell tired, this few days, i've been busy doing this stupid fom thinggy, which is so damn difficult, need tons and tons of information, i need to be freaking thick skinned and walk into the shop to ask the manager, need to do survey and many more things.
I've been sleeping rather late, and everytime i said i wanted to sleep earlier, nope i cant.
Yeah and im telling myself, just 2 more weeks, i hope things get much much better.
Hate this kind of busy life, when i cant even slack down for a little while, coz im so afraid i dont have the time to complete my work!
2 weeks later shall be the end of mst, this coming week will be so super hectic, seriously, im gonna chiong my revision like mad!
Well, so i had training today, coz of that report, me and fec have to do it in the first half of the training, and we cant train, and we miss out quite a bit.
Alright, but we joined in during the second half, coz we cant possibly go to school just to do that report and miss our whole saturday training right?
Training was fine, well at least not that bad.
But today was rather fun at the end, did some stunts which we normally wouldnt have the chance to.
Well, the sense of achievement i've got after completing the stunt, well i know i didnt do a good job at it. The 221, is rather cui, for my side, but at the v least, i managed to hold it there.
Alright my last training before mst, two weeks without training, finally a break!
Then after training, at first wanted to go home straight to complete report and ppt.
But but but, they keep saying its the last time we can go vivo, before our mst, if not we'll have to wait till so long later...
I was influence by all of them, so decided to go in the end.
Thats why i finished my report so late ):
Alright nvm, i'll just do up my ppt, try to rush things tml.
And concentrate on this coming week! Revision, revision and revision.
Omg jiayou to me, hang on there, just 2 more weeks!
WTF, im really freaking hell tired, this few days, i've been busy doing this stupid fom thinggy, which is so damn difficult, need tons and tons of information, i need to be freaking thick skinned and walk into the shop to ask the manager, need to do survey and many more things.
I've been sleeping rather late, and everytime i said i wanted to sleep earlier, nope i cant.
Yeah and im telling myself, just 2 more weeks, i hope things get much much better.
Hate this kind of busy life, when i cant even slack down for a little while, coz im so afraid i dont have the time to complete my work!
2 weeks later shall be the end of mst, this coming week will be so super hectic, seriously, im gonna chiong my revision like mad!
Well, so i had training today, coz of that report, me and fec have to do it in the first half of the training, and we cant train, and we miss out quite a bit.
Alright, but we joined in during the second half, coz we cant possibly go to school just to do that report and miss our whole saturday training right?
Training was fine, well at least not that bad.
But today was rather fun at the end, did some stunts which we normally wouldnt have the chance to.
Well, the sense of achievement i've got after completing the stunt, well i know i didnt do a good job at it. The 221, is rather cui, for my side, but at the v least, i managed to hold it there.
Alright my last training before mst, two weeks without training, finally a break!
Then after training, at first wanted to go home straight to complete report and ppt.
But but but, they keep saying its the last time we can go vivo, before our mst, if not we'll have to wait till so long later...
I was influence by all of them, so decided to go in the end.
Thats why i finished my report so late ):
Alright nvm, i'll just do up my ppt, try to rush things tml.
And concentrate on this coming week! Revision, revision and revision.
Omg jiayou to me, hang on there, just 2 more weeks!
November 24, 2010
If i had a choice,
Rather stressed with projects and cca recently.
Seriously wtf, idk what is wrong with me. I havent even started revision, its coming to the end of week 6, my mst is week 8. There's like not much time left, about 1 more week, and i havent started revising a single shit.
I hope i wont screw up my papers, i dont want to ):
Im just freaking busy with schoolwork, cca.
Thats all i have recently.
Well, so basically, just one marketing project is enough to drive me crazy. Coz we're all not so sure about what to do, and how to do it.
Sighhh i dont even know how i used to handle 3 or 4 projects in a week last sem.
Luckily i dont have to do that this sem.
Sighhhh im seriously so stress up, coz im so short of time.
I wish i have more than 24 hrs a day, sighhh...
Alright enough of my complaints, i shall make full use of my time, done a little part of the report, but im seriously freaking tired, so right now, im not gonna think about anything else, and i'll just shut my laptop, and go to bed, tml is a super long day.
I hope nothing unpleasant will happen tml, im already in such a bad mood this few days, dont worsen my mood please.
Im so fucked up with you, seriously, it's such a pity.
Seriously wtf, idk what is wrong with me. I havent even started revision, its coming to the end of week 6, my mst is week 8. There's like not much time left, about 1 more week, and i havent started revising a single shit.
I hope i wont screw up my papers, i dont want to ):
Im just freaking busy with schoolwork, cca.
Thats all i have recently.
Well, so basically, just one marketing project is enough to drive me crazy. Coz we're all not so sure about what to do, and how to do it.
Sighhh i dont even know how i used to handle 3 or 4 projects in a week last sem.
Luckily i dont have to do that this sem.
Sighhhh im seriously so stress up, coz im so short of time.
I wish i have more than 24 hrs a day, sighhh...
Alright enough of my complaints, i shall make full use of my time, done a little part of the report, but im seriously freaking tired, so right now, im not gonna think about anything else, and i'll just shut my laptop, and go to bed, tml is a super long day.
I hope nothing unpleasant will happen tml, im already in such a bad mood this few days, dont worsen my mood please.
Im so fucked up with you, seriously, it's such a pity.
November 21, 2010
Its just about taking the first step
I've thought a little.
In the past, i've always mentioned it, but i didnt really give it a serious thought.
So now, maybe its time, when i should seriously think about it.
I keep avoiding this, because i thought that things are gonna get better, i thought that i really cant bear to do it.
But, its just about taking the first step right? Maybe it isnt as bad as i thought.
I dont want to, i seriously dont want to, because its not easy for me to get right here. But, the question is: What's the point of all this?
I wont get anything right? I know, because i understand myself.
And this few days, i've been feeling much better.
There's really an impact on me, on my life.
So, should i or should i not?
In the past, i've always mentioned it, but i didnt really give it a serious thought.
So now, maybe its time, when i should seriously think about it.
I keep avoiding this, because i thought that things are gonna get better, i thought that i really cant bear to do it.
But, its just about taking the first step right? Maybe it isnt as bad as i thought.
I dont want to, i seriously dont want to, because its not easy for me to get right here. But, the question is: What's the point of all this?
I wont get anything right? I know, because i understand myself.
And this few days, i've been feeling much better.
There's really an impact on me, on my life.
So, should i or should i not?
November 19, 2010
In a split second,
Im blogging now coz im not in a good mood. Well, im not saying im in a bad mood, im just not in a good mood alright.
Its even weaker than i thought.
I'm not angry, not sad, but just disappointed.
If that was all that you meant, fine.
I forgot something, its human nature to be selfish. They didnt change, they just hide their flaws. We cant see it, doesnt mean it does not exist.
Its either everything or nothing.
And nothing, just says it all.
Just the same as others, totally the same.
Well, so we've seen everything.
Disappointment, is the only word for everything i've seen.
It is better to be thought of as a fool, rather than open your mouth to remove all doubt.
Friendship is delicate as a glass, once broken it can be fixed but there will always be cracks.
Its even weaker than i thought.
I'm not angry, not sad, but just disappointed.
If that was all that you meant, fine.
I forgot something, its human nature to be selfish. They didnt change, they just hide their flaws. We cant see it, doesnt mean it does not exist.
Its either everything or nothing.
And nothing, just says it all.
Just the same as others, totally the same.
Well, so we've seen everything.
Disappointment, is the only word for everything i've seen.
It is better to be thought of as a fool, rather than open your mouth to remove all doubt.
Friendship is delicate as a glass, once broken it can be fixed but there will always be cracks.
November 18, 2010
If things were much simpler,
Hey people, im back for a post.
Alright, im still sick btw, especially when im coughing quite badly.
I always takes v long to recover from cough.
Well nvm, whatever, i cant do anything about it either.
Anw, i was rather pissed off in class today.
Shouldnt really say everything in details, but let me ask, hows the feeling of being accused by others?
And the thing is, when its not the first time someone ever said so, in the presence of other people, worst still, the whole class.
Freaking hell angry with it, not like i did something wrong.
Can i ask, in Singapore, in such a fast-paced society with advanced technology, which kid/teenager will not use their handphone in lessons? I mean even if its just a short while?
Whats more, if you already done what you are suppose to do, anything wrong with using the phone? And the most important thing is, I HAVE ALREADY DONE WHAT I HAVE BEEN TOLD TO DO.
I've been concentrating, listening whenever she speaks, i merely used it after i've completed the questions, when there's no one speaking.
Am i not concentrating when she speaks? If you insist on saying it, fine, check your eyesight, i bet there's some problems with your eyes.
It just sucks when you get scolded for no freaking hell reason. And this is not the first time, seriously, i dont know whats the problem.
I dont understand why she has to pick on us, oh you mean there's no one else in the class using the handphone? No one else in the class eating? Its not like we arent paying attention to her.
Freaking pissed off seriously. I was quite okay just now, but thinking about it now makes my blood boils.
Seriously, you arent worth my respect, coz if you want others to respect you, you should know how to respect others in the first place.
Okay fine, i'll stop talking about it, not gonna let it affect my mood since tml its friday!
Sigghhh, anyway, num has the one-for-one sale again. Recently, they got lots of it.
There's one halloween special which was over not long ago, and now they have the christmas special.
Okay, i think i'll just get it since i wanted it, let me just spent a little more, and i promise, i wont spent until the christmas sale.
I really wanna go shopping! Preferably next monday, but we have to do our project ):
Sighhh hope can finish it early.
Alright, now is week 5, going to week 6, mst is on week 8, 3 more weeks to go. Not much time left, got to start revision really soon. I must do well for this mst!
Hmmm, sometimes you will feel so troubled about things, especially when you dont know what to do right? Coz you know how much it hurts, you wont want it to happen. Sighhh, then tell me, what should i do? Gonnna think think think about it, hopefully i'll get an answer.
Hmm well that'll be all for today, im going to bed soon (:
Alright, im still sick btw, especially when im coughing quite badly.
I always takes v long to recover from cough.
Well nvm, whatever, i cant do anything about it either.
Anw, i was rather pissed off in class today.
Shouldnt really say everything in details, but let me ask, hows the feeling of being accused by others?
And the thing is, when its not the first time someone ever said so, in the presence of other people, worst still, the whole class.
Freaking hell angry with it, not like i did something wrong.
Can i ask, in Singapore, in such a fast-paced society with advanced technology, which kid/teenager will not use their handphone in lessons? I mean even if its just a short while?
Whats more, if you already done what you are suppose to do, anything wrong with using the phone? And the most important thing is, I HAVE ALREADY DONE WHAT I HAVE BEEN TOLD TO DO.
I've been concentrating, listening whenever she speaks, i merely used it after i've completed the questions, when there's no one speaking.
Am i not concentrating when she speaks? If you insist on saying it, fine, check your eyesight, i bet there's some problems with your eyes.
It just sucks when you get scolded for no freaking hell reason. And this is not the first time, seriously, i dont know whats the problem.
I dont understand why she has to pick on us, oh you mean there's no one else in the class using the handphone? No one else in the class eating? Its not like we arent paying attention to her.
Freaking pissed off seriously. I was quite okay just now, but thinking about it now makes my blood boils.
Seriously, you arent worth my respect, coz if you want others to respect you, you should know how to respect others in the first place.
Okay fine, i'll stop talking about it, not gonna let it affect my mood since tml its friday!
Sigghhh, anyway, num has the one-for-one sale again. Recently, they got lots of it.
There's one halloween special which was over not long ago, and now they have the christmas special.
Okay, i think i'll just get it since i wanted it, let me just spent a little more, and i promise, i wont spent until the christmas sale.
I really wanna go shopping! Preferably next monday, but we have to do our project ):
Sighhh hope can finish it early.
Alright, now is week 5, going to week 6, mst is on week 8, 3 more weeks to go. Not much time left, got to start revision really soon. I must do well for this mst!
Hmmm, sometimes you will feel so troubled about things, especially when you dont know what to do right? Coz you know how much it hurts, you wont want it to happen. Sighhh, then tell me, what should i do? Gonnna think think think about it, hopefully i'll get an answer.
Hmm well that'll be all for today, im going to bed soon (:
November 16, 2010
Taking big steps,
Hi all, i realized its almost a week and i didnt blog, got the sudden urge to blog so here i go.
Alright im sick, im coughing quite badly.
Not having a fever though, i think its pretty much got to do with the weather nowadays.
There's so many people falling sick.
LOL, when i went for my saturday training, actually im already sick, but i bought drink, and i shared with so many people.
And i think i spread my germs to so many ppl too, and in the end, so many ppl fall sick too.
Sorry to those whom i spread to, well, those that didnt, i shall say, your immune system is strong enough! :D
I wish my body immune system is strong too, i realized im quite weak, always falling sick, every few months there's gonna be once.
Alright, lets not talk about my sickness, spoils the mood.
Hmmmm, anyway coz im coughing quite badly today, i decided not to go for training, and i have the mc okay, not just skip for fun.
Yeah but i feel rather bad, coz tml is ph, no gymnast, sat i have a wedding to attend, not able to go also.
Well, nvm just take it as a break for me since i always claim that im tired.
So hows school? As usual, lessons are boring. Okay, but i've been paying much more attention during lessons.
Oh talking about school, dont know why, recently saw quite a few hot guys in sb, i tht there isnt much hot guys in sb lol.
Hahaha, fine, i'll stop saying it, but seriously, thats what i observe recently as compared to last sem when i always dont see any in sb!
Anw, tml is ph, it will be a day out!!!
Finally, there's another ph, gonna spend the day with sh and wx, well, wanted to go marina barrage for picnic, but wx said its the monsoon season, might be raining, so we drop the idea.
Well, so we just decided to head to any shopping mall, eat, chat, camwhore or whatsoever, well, it doesnt really matter where you are going, what matters is who you are going out with isnt it?
Im sure tml's gonna be fun coz it has been a long time since i last saw them!
Alright anw, im suppose to do my fom research now, arrrrrhhhhh im quite frustrated with fom, i dont seem to be able to find the info that i need.
Even if i spent hours trying to find the info on the net, sigghhhh but i dont want to do badly for the CA1, i know i've been slacking this term, but i dont wish to screw up my mst and pbl, its really important to me.
COME ON, BUCK UP NLJ!
IM GONNA DO WELL FOR THIS CA1, GONNA BE TOTALLY PREPARED FOR IT.
Having said so, i should be doing the research now, but but but, im seriously feeling so tired after taking the medicine, i think i'll just go and sleep first.
Well, not that i want to slack now, but im seriously tired, i think i'll wake up earlier to do tml, or wait till i come back home tml.
I'll definitely find time to do it alright!
Okay, goodnight and goodbye, im going to my dreams.
Alright im sick, im coughing quite badly.
Not having a fever though, i think its pretty much got to do with the weather nowadays.
There's so many people falling sick.
LOL, when i went for my saturday training, actually im already sick, but i bought drink, and i shared with so many people.
And i think i spread my germs to so many ppl too, and in the end, so many ppl fall sick too.
Sorry to those whom i spread to, well, those that didnt, i shall say, your immune system is strong enough! :D
I wish my body immune system is strong too, i realized im quite weak, always falling sick, every few months there's gonna be once.
Alright, lets not talk about my sickness, spoils the mood.
Hmmmm, anyway coz im coughing quite badly today, i decided not to go for training, and i have the mc okay, not just skip for fun.
Yeah but i feel rather bad, coz tml is ph, no gymnast, sat i have a wedding to attend, not able to go also.
Well, nvm just take it as a break for me since i always claim that im tired.
So hows school? As usual, lessons are boring. Okay, but i've been paying much more attention during lessons.
Oh talking about school, dont know why, recently saw quite a few hot guys in sb, i tht there isnt much hot guys in sb lol.
Hahaha, fine, i'll stop saying it, but seriously, thats what i observe recently as compared to last sem when i always dont see any in sb!
Anw, tml is ph, it will be a day out!!!
Finally, there's another ph, gonna spend the day with sh and wx, well, wanted to go marina barrage for picnic, but wx said its the monsoon season, might be raining, so we drop the idea.
Well, so we just decided to head to any shopping mall, eat, chat, camwhore or whatsoever, well, it doesnt really matter where you are going, what matters is who you are going out with isnt it?
Im sure tml's gonna be fun coz it has been a long time since i last saw them!
Alright anw, im suppose to do my fom research now, arrrrrhhhhh im quite frustrated with fom, i dont seem to be able to find the info that i need.
Even if i spent hours trying to find the info on the net, sigghhhh but i dont want to do badly for the CA1, i know i've been slacking this term, but i dont wish to screw up my mst and pbl, its really important to me.
COME ON, BUCK UP NLJ!
IM GONNA DO WELL FOR THIS CA1, GONNA BE TOTALLY PREPARED FOR IT.
Having said so, i should be doing the research now, but but but, im seriously feeling so tired after taking the medicine, i think i'll just go and sleep first.
Well, not that i want to slack now, but im seriously tired, i think i'll wake up earlier to do tml, or wait till i come back home tml.
I'll definitely find time to do it alright!
Okay, goodnight and goodbye, im going to my dreams.
November 10, 2010
Uncontrolled emotions,
Im in no position to say anything, i know.
Yet, i just cant help it.
I dont think you would even bother whether i shed a single tear or not.
Perhaps im doing too much previously, and now, i dont know whats wrong.
I dont know why it turns out like that, i cant help getting depress over it.
But i know, you wont care, its just that i have no right to say anything else, no right to blame you at all.
You arent oblige to care for me.
Yet, i just cant help it.
I dont think you would even bother whether i shed a single tear or not.
Perhaps im doing too much previously, and now, i dont know whats wrong.
I dont know why it turns out like that, i cant help getting depress over it.
But i know, you wont care, its just that i have no right to say anything else, no right to blame you at all.
You arent oblige to care for me.
Keep going on...
Today is such a bad day, hmm maybe i should say its an unlucky day.
Oh no not today, i just realized the time now is 1 plus, so i mean yesterday.
Yesterday's training was ermm... really tiring i guess, idk why so tiring.
And the bad thing is, i fell down countless times from the stunt.
Falling down is alright, but i landed on the floor for many times too.
I hit my head once or twice, got punch on the forehead and lips ))):
My lips is really painful coz when i got punched, my teeth bit the lips and it started to bleed.
Alright but now its okay.
Well, not others' fault though, its my fault for leaning back too early.
And accidents do happen, so its alright :D
Okkayy, lets just stay strong and endure through all these.
Tml there's gymnast, sighhhh lesson start at 9, end at 11.
Gymnast start at 7, 8 hours in school!!!! WTH!!!
Its has been like that for the past few weeks, but first two weeks im busy with doing the props, last week i've got homework to occupy me.
And for tml, nothing much to do, coz i already did my tutorials, and i only need to study for a short quiz on thursday.
Omg i seriously think im wasting my precious time.
Well but i think the rest of the week is gonna be quite alright :D
Off topic a little.
Nvm, you people wont understand what im trying to say either, just that i need to say it out.
Actually all these while, i've been trying.
Everytime i tried, i've failed, but i told myself, i cant continue on like this, i've got to do something.
Yeah, so right now, i dont know whether what im doing is right, but i know, it doesnt feel good.
I dont know what else i can do, coz it wasnt even right in the first place.
I dont know if you ever care, perhaps you do realise, just that it means nothing.
So im telling myself, keep trying, till its all over.
And when its all over, perhaps thats the time when everything will be back same again.
Back to topic, yeah, so now, im really tired.
I revised a little for my quiz on thursday, anw i've got two quizzes on thu, not much percentage but fine, im just kiasu alright.
Perhaps coz i've been slacking too much for the past two weeks, and i seriously feel that i should compensate to it.
Okay alright, im seriously tired, just waiting for my laptop to be fully charged and i'll just shut it down and get to bed straight away.
Okay, i should prepare first, go wash up and everything.
Goodbye people! :D
Oh no not today, i just realized the time now is 1 plus, so i mean yesterday.
Yesterday's training was ermm... really tiring i guess, idk why so tiring.
And the bad thing is, i fell down countless times from the stunt.
Falling down is alright, but i landed on the floor for many times too.
I hit my head once or twice, got punch on the forehead and lips ))):
My lips is really painful coz when i got punched, my teeth bit the lips and it started to bleed.
Alright but now its okay.
Well, not others' fault though, its my fault for leaning back too early.
And accidents do happen, so its alright :D
Okkayy, lets just stay strong and endure through all these.
Tml there's gymnast, sighhhh lesson start at 9, end at 11.
Gymnast start at 7, 8 hours in school!!!! WTH!!!
Its has been like that for the past few weeks, but first two weeks im busy with doing the props, last week i've got homework to occupy me.
And for tml, nothing much to do, coz i already did my tutorials, and i only need to study for a short quiz on thursday.
Omg i seriously think im wasting my precious time.
Well but i think the rest of the week is gonna be quite alright :D
Off topic a little.
Nvm, you people wont understand what im trying to say either, just that i need to say it out.
Actually all these while, i've been trying.
Everytime i tried, i've failed, but i told myself, i cant continue on like this, i've got to do something.
Yeah, so right now, i dont know whether what im doing is right, but i know, it doesnt feel good.
I dont know what else i can do, coz it wasnt even right in the first place.
I dont know if you ever care, perhaps you do realise, just that it means nothing.
So im telling myself, keep trying, till its all over.
And when its all over, perhaps thats the time when everything will be back same again.
Back to topic, yeah, so now, im really tired.
I revised a little for my quiz on thursday, anw i've got two quizzes on thu, not much percentage but fine, im just kiasu alright.
Perhaps coz i've been slacking too much for the past two weeks, and i seriously feel that i should compensate to it.
Okay alright, im seriously tired, just waiting for my laptop to be fully charged and i'll just shut it down and get to bed straight away.
Okay, i should prepare first, go wash up and everything.
Goodbye people! :D
November 4, 2010
Its a break!
HELLO!!!
Its public holiday tml, we've got a longer weekend!
Yay, whats more, there's no training on saturday!!! HOORAY!!!!
Alright, let me just talk a bit about this week.
This week is much much better coz the cheer for the woman event has ended, and we are more free now, not so stress anymore.
Hmmm, at least this few days i've been sleeping earlier, and i've not been falling asleep in lectures and tutorials anymore!
I rmb, i slept at 9 plus on sunday and monday, coz i said i want to get back all my sleep, have more rest!
Alright, but anw, this week is so much better, indeed i had enough rest i guess.
And seriously, i did all my tutorials this week! Im so proud of myself, i managed to find time to do them!
Hmm, so training was on as usual on tue, i was so emo on tue too, just by looking at the posts you will know. I guess most of you should know why, coz i couldnt do the stunt well, i keep wasting my bases' time and i keep injuring them.
Yeah, but now im fine, i should just try harder, a lot more harder, if i dont want to injured them, dont want to waste their time, dont want to slow down their progress, i should train harder! So jiayou to me!!!!
Okay then wednesday was gymnast. Gymnast is so much better than training, coz its so slack, just that stretching was painful.
Omg, something damn stupid happened!
I know its damn funny, coz everyone laughed at me at that moment.
Coz the coach was helping me to do bridge, i went down, and i was about to come up.
He was pushing my waist up to help me get up, but the thing is, one of his leg was actually stepping on my hair and i didnt know, until the moment when he pushed me up.
And all i felt was PAIN!
Omg, then i've got so mnay strands of hair on the maps, coz he stepped and my hair got pulled out!
I swear its damn freaking pain, and everyone was laughing, lol even i was laughing.
Omg my hair is so important to me in order for me to remain as a jellyfish :D
Alright and for today, a super long day, i didnt go for training coz i had dip plus.
Econs tutorial was much better than expected, at least i listened to her, didnt get scolded.
Hmmm, we were all slacking at fc4 while waiting for my dip plus and their training.
Lol, love the times with gusto! :D
Oh and dip plus was quite awkward, coz there's this guy behind who doesnt have the tb, so i shared with him.
And it feels weird la, quite awkward coz i dont really dare to talk to him and he dont really dare to talk to me.
Lol, nah whatever.
Alright, i'll be going shopping tml!
I havent been shopping for so super long coz im damn broke.
But this few weeks i've saved up a little, so its shopping time! Also time for me to relax coz im really stressed out recently!
Okay, i'll blog again some other time, goodbye people! :)
Its public holiday tml, we've got a longer weekend!
Yay, whats more, there's no training on saturday!!! HOORAY!!!!
Alright, let me just talk a bit about this week.
This week is much much better coz the cheer for the woman event has ended, and we are more free now, not so stress anymore.
Hmmm, at least this few days i've been sleeping earlier, and i've not been falling asleep in lectures and tutorials anymore!
I rmb, i slept at 9 plus on sunday and monday, coz i said i want to get back all my sleep, have more rest!
Alright, but anw, this week is so much better, indeed i had enough rest i guess.
And seriously, i did all my tutorials this week! Im so proud of myself, i managed to find time to do them!
Hmm, so training was on as usual on tue, i was so emo on tue too, just by looking at the posts you will know. I guess most of you should know why, coz i couldnt do the stunt well, i keep wasting my bases' time and i keep injuring them.
Yeah, but now im fine, i should just try harder, a lot more harder, if i dont want to injured them, dont want to waste their time, dont want to slow down their progress, i should train harder! So jiayou to me!!!!
Okay then wednesday was gymnast. Gymnast is so much better than training, coz its so slack, just that stretching was painful.
Omg, something damn stupid happened!
I know its damn funny, coz everyone laughed at me at that moment.
Coz the coach was helping me to do bridge, i went down, and i was about to come up.
He was pushing my waist up to help me get up, but the thing is, one of his leg was actually stepping on my hair and i didnt know, until the moment when he pushed me up.
And all i felt was PAIN!
Omg, then i've got so mnay strands of hair on the maps, coz he stepped and my hair got pulled out!
I swear its damn freaking pain, and everyone was laughing, lol even i was laughing.
Omg my hair is so important to me in order for me to remain as a jellyfish :D
Alright and for today, a super long day, i didnt go for training coz i had dip plus.
Econs tutorial was much better than expected, at least i listened to her, didnt get scolded.
Hmmm, we were all slacking at fc4 while waiting for my dip plus and their training.
Lol, love the times with gusto! :D
Oh and dip plus was quite awkward, coz there's this guy behind who doesnt have the tb, so i shared with him.
And it feels weird la, quite awkward coz i dont really dare to talk to him and he dont really dare to talk to me.
Lol, nah whatever.
Alright, i'll be going shopping tml!
I havent been shopping for so super long coz im damn broke.
But this few weeks i've saved up a little, so its shopping time! Also time for me to relax coz im really stressed out recently!
Okay, i'll blog again some other time, goodbye people! :)
November 2, 2010
To be stuck in between,
I dont know how many times i need to repeat this.
But im sorry, im really sorry.
I've tried, really tried, but sometimes, trying isnt what we all want to see.
We want to see results, i know.
Im really sorry, just because of me, we have to be stuck here.
Just because of me, you all need to compensate so much more.
I know i shouldnt be thinking in this way, but its a fact.
Just because we are together as one, wherever i am, is wherever you guys are.
And just because of that, it makes me the selfish one.
Just because there's so little that i can do, it limits your capabilities.
It just doesnt feel good.
Giving up isnt what i want, moving on isnt what i can do.
So now, im just stuck here, seriously, going on and on...
My posts are so emo recently, coz my life is pretty messed up with everything.
Last 2 weeks is a total mess, i dont know what i've been doing in school, sleeping in lectures, tutorials, getting scolded by tutor, screwing up this and that.
I hope this week would be much better, really, thats how life is.
But im sorry, im really sorry.
I've tried, really tried, but sometimes, trying isnt what we all want to see.
We want to see results, i know.
Im really sorry, just because of me, we have to be stuck here.
Just because of me, you all need to compensate so much more.
I know i shouldnt be thinking in this way, but its a fact.
Just because we are together as one, wherever i am, is wherever you guys are.
And just because of that, it makes me the selfish one.
Just because there's so little that i can do, it limits your capabilities.
It just doesnt feel good.
Giving up isnt what i want, moving on isnt what i can do.
So now, im just stuck here, seriously, going on and on...
My posts are so emo recently, coz my life is pretty messed up with everything.
Last 2 weeks is a total mess, i dont know what i've been doing in school, sleeping in lectures, tutorials, getting scolded by tutor, screwing up this and that.
I hope this week would be much better, really, thats how life is.
November 1, 2010
I dont have a choice.
Disappointment, damn damn disappointment.
Sighhh, yeah maybe its not that important, but still, its a huge disappointment.
Thinking of it now, im still disappointed, sad over it.
Im telling myself it doesnt matter, but still i cant help feeling so disappointed.
Sighh, dont worry, im not disappointed about anything else, just for myself.
Neither am i angry or sad about anything else, its just about myself.
Well, but whats over is over, stop thinking about it alright?
Some things are just so unpredictable.
I thought i told myself it will never happen, yeah thats what i had always thought, but now, it happened.
I cant explain why, but i just know, i have to stop this shit before everything goes wrong.
Idk how to, but somehow, i need to stop.
It doesnt feel good to carry on like this...
But you see, i dont have a choice. Dont have a choice in so many things, this is life....
Sighhh, yeah maybe its not that important, but still, its a huge disappointment.
Thinking of it now, im still disappointed, sad over it.
Im telling myself it doesnt matter, but still i cant help feeling so disappointed.
Sighh, dont worry, im not disappointed about anything else, just for myself.
Neither am i angry or sad about anything else, its just about myself.
Well, but whats over is over, stop thinking about it alright?
Some things are just so unpredictable.
I thought i told myself it will never happen, yeah thats what i had always thought, but now, it happened.
I cant explain why, but i just know, i have to stop this shit before everything goes wrong.
Idk how to, but somehow, i need to stop.
It doesnt feel good to carry on like this...
But you see, i dont have a choice. Dont have a choice in so many things, this is life....
October 29, 2010
Happy birthday to myself!
This post is late, but nvm i've already wished myself on fb lol.
Alright happy birthday to myself, Ng LiJuan aka LJ aka jellyfish!
:DD
You see, time flies, one year, last year, i was still sitting for the o levels!
Okay, i had a great birthday, though its a simple one.
LOL, THEY PLAYED A TRICK ON ME, THEIR SO CALLED SURPRISE, TOTALLY RUINED BY LJH!
Fecilia planned the surprise for me, she told everyone not to wish me, and pretend as if they all forgot abt it.
No apparently they make it too obvious, surely someone will rmb my birthday right?
Yeah, but there were some spoilers, which ruin the surprise.
But nvm, i still love my birthday!
I mean seriously, it has been a long time since i had an actual birthday celebration.
My birthday cake! :D
Thanks gusto! :D and the many more who made my birthday a great one but arent here.
My "card", thanks dougy, lets do a comparison with the one below!
Thanks fecilia!
Thank you people! :D
Alright happy birthday to myself, Ng LiJuan aka LJ aka jellyfish!
:DD
You see, time flies, one year, last year, i was still sitting for the o levels!
Okay, i had a great birthday, though its a simple one.
LOL, THEY PLAYED A TRICK ON ME, THEIR SO CALLED SURPRISE, TOTALLY RUINED BY LJH!
Fecilia planned the surprise for me, she told everyone not to wish me, and pretend as if they all forgot abt it.
No apparently they make it too obvious, surely someone will rmb my birthday right?
Yeah, but there were some spoilers, which ruin the surprise.
But nvm, i still love my birthday!
I mean seriously, it has been a long time since i had an actual birthday celebration.
My birthday cake! :D
Thanks gusto! :D and the many more who made my birthday a great one but arent here.
My "card", thanks dougy, lets do a comparison with the one below!
Thanks fecilia!
Thank you people! :D
October 27, 2010
Whats right, and whats wrong?
Sighhh, i think im dead, super dead.
I cant differentiate between whats right and whats wrong.
I mean, maybe i can, just that my actions doesnt show.
Sometimes, i know, it doesnt get me anywhere if this goes on, but yet, i couldnt stop myself.
I tried hard, but i still cant.
Even if i told myself, its wrong, but i still dont know how to stop it.
Just because of this, i've lost control of everything.
Small little actions can actually hurt me, even though it doesnt mean anything to others.
Just because of this, i actually thought i meant something, just something small to you, but apparently, i didnt.
So right now, please, no matter what, stop all these.
Im reminding myself, you wont gain anything, any benefits from it.
I guess it will only hurt you at the end.
So, just stop it.
I cant differentiate between whats right and whats wrong.
I mean, maybe i can, just that my actions doesnt show.
Sometimes, i know, it doesnt get me anywhere if this goes on, but yet, i couldnt stop myself.
I tried hard, but i still cant.
Even if i told myself, its wrong, but i still dont know how to stop it.
Just because of this, i've lost control of everything.
Small little actions can actually hurt me, even though it doesnt mean anything to others.
Just because of this, i actually thought i meant something, just something small to you, but apparently, i didnt.
So right now, please, no matter what, stop all these.
Im reminding myself, you wont gain anything, any benefits from it.
I guess it will only hurt you at the end.
So, just stop it.
October 25, 2010
Little moments like this ♥
Alright, the first week of school was over, come on no more slacking girl!
Anyway, had monster camp during the weekends.
Oh my monsters, they are so so so great. If only, if only, i can be a little little bit like them. Arhhhhh.
Alright, but anw, i guess some of you enjoyed the monster camp, but no seriously for me it sucks luh.
Those who benefited from it, congrats. I guess you all have learnt lots of things!
Alright, that day when we ended, we had dinner at vivo.
Haha vivo was great!
We just find a random spot, sat down and have our dinner. Its BK day.
Alright, then we took photos, did stunts, got a cake for samuel...
Then, oh yah, the mrt game!!!
Hahaha that was super fun, and ouch, super painful too!
Hate Tai seng, buangkok, si mei and the other one i forgot.
Lol, especially tai seng, damn painful!!!!
But its fun, coz i get to hit them back.
My hand and legs were both so red, yeah and we just sat down, played till about 10 i think, and we left home.
Ohhh there's something so dumb that happen hahaha.
Wont want to talk about it over here, just in case someone gets offended.
But but but, coz of that, im also quite happy/touched.
Yeah i know you people dont know what im refering to, but nvm, im touched, thats all.
And thanks gusto peeps, you guys are great!
Great at bringing joy to everyone, great at cheering others up!
Hope we'll still have little moments like this, or rather, hope i'll still be able to have it.
Anyway, had monster camp during the weekends.
Oh my monsters, they are so so so great. If only, if only, i can be a little little bit like them. Arhhhhh.
Alright, but anw, i guess some of you enjoyed the monster camp, but no seriously for me it sucks luh.
Those who benefited from it, congrats. I guess you all have learnt lots of things!
Alright, that day when we ended, we had dinner at vivo.
Haha vivo was great!
We just find a random spot, sat down and have our dinner. Its BK day.
Alright, then we took photos, did stunts, got a cake for samuel...
Then, oh yah, the mrt game!!!
Hahaha that was super fun, and ouch, super painful too!
Hate Tai seng, buangkok, si mei and the other one i forgot.
Lol, especially tai seng, damn painful!!!!
But its fun, coz i get to hit them back.
My hand and legs were both so red, yeah and we just sat down, played till about 10 i think, and we left home.
Ohhh there's something so dumb that happen hahaha.
Wont want to talk about it over here, just in case someone gets offended.
But but but, coz of that, im also quite happy/touched.
Yeah i know you people dont know what im refering to, but nvm, im touched, thats all.
And thanks gusto peeps, you guys are great!
Great at bringing joy to everyone, great at cheering others up!
Hope we'll still have little moments like this, or rather, hope i'll still be able to have it.
October 22, 2010
Middle of the road, where do i go?
Im stuck, in between two choices.
Im really tired of all these.
All these while, i've been trying my best, putting in all the effort, so what did i get? Anyone can tell me?
No, nothing at all.
I've only seeing more and more of the negative side, more and more, but anything positive? The only thing is them, my family.
Thats the only thing i dont want to give up.
Its painful to go on like this, not that i dont want. But im really tired. How long can i carry on like this? I keep asking myself the same old question.
And after everything which i've done, what did i get? Is it worth it or not?
Seriously, when you know that the pain you felt is much more than the joy, its the time when you know you should stop everything.
Pain in terms of physically and emotionally.
We all got to face reality, sometimes, some things just isnt suitable for you. You just cant get it, no matter how hard you try.
Its true.
Sometimes you know, the simplest thing in life are the most beautiful, they are what made you happy, smile.
Why should things be so complicated, maybe if it doesnt, there wont be so much pain.
But reality is reality, the world is just so competitive.
I really dont know what to do, how to do.
I just want to cry my heart out.
Im sorry to everyone i've neglected.
Im sorry to myself.
Im sorry to all of you, if i ever disappointed you all in saying all these, ever made you all worried about me.
All of you are my family, for now, and forever.
Im really tired of all these.
All these while, i've been trying my best, putting in all the effort, so what did i get? Anyone can tell me?
No, nothing at all.
I've only seeing more and more of the negative side, more and more, but anything positive? The only thing is them, my family.
Thats the only thing i dont want to give up.
Its painful to go on like this, not that i dont want. But im really tired. How long can i carry on like this? I keep asking myself the same old question.
And after everything which i've done, what did i get? Is it worth it or not?
Seriously, when you know that the pain you felt is much more than the joy, its the time when you know you should stop everything.
Pain in terms of physically and emotionally.
We all got to face reality, sometimes, some things just isnt suitable for you. You just cant get it, no matter how hard you try.
Its true.
Sometimes you know, the simplest thing in life are the most beautiful, they are what made you happy, smile.
Why should things be so complicated, maybe if it doesnt, there wont be so much pain.
But reality is reality, the world is just so competitive.
I really dont know what to do, how to do.
I just want to cry my heart out.
Im sorry to everyone i've neglected.
Im sorry to myself.
Im sorry to all of you, if i ever disappointed you all in saying all these, ever made you all worried about me.
All of you are my family, for now, and forever.
October 20, 2010
So how far can i go?
Life's as usual.
Its so dull, so bored.
Sighh third day of sem 2, bored ttm! My modules this sem is like freaking boring i guess!
I havent been listening in tutorials, lectures.
Alright this week tutorial doesnt have anything much, just introduction i guess.
And i've been sleeping in tutorials? OMG i think im still in holiday mood! WAKE UP LIJUAN!!!!!
SIGHHHH, okayokay, i'll promise myself that i'll be all ready by next week, just give me one more week to switch to the right mood please!
Alright, and hopefully when the woman's cheer run end next week, i'll be much much better, seriously, im tired of all this. And comeon, it's just like what? the first freaking week of sem 2?
And speaking of woman's cheer run, our group just did the tshirt today. HOORAY ZOOM!!!!! WE FINISHED THE COSTUME TODAY! At first when we tried the first shirt, we were so cautious, trying to do it so perfectly, yeah indeed, it turns out so nice.
But after a few, we all damn sian, everything just anyhow do, haha we're such a lazy group. but nvm, with the two brilliant and awesome group leaders, we sure win lahh! Haha just jk, im not so thick skinned.
But im so proud of us, we completed everything today, including the writeup which i did, just that ducky have to edit a little i think!
Alright, anw i've been injuring myself recently, due to the extensive trainings we had!!!
Firstly, my thigh, omg my poor thigh, i think i've been overstretching recently. Last week i tried to do heel stretch, i pulled it up all the way and suddenly it was damn freaking pain, i think i tear my muscle.
Then the next day, or two days later, there's gymnast, and i had to stretch like mad, so it kinda worsen?
After one week it got better but not fully recovered, and there's gymnast today and again, i stretch like mad, and it hurts so much, just by walking.
Secondly, my wrist.
My wrist was injured previously, few months ago, but after the few weeks without training, it recovered.
And now, with so many trainings, it hurts again, coz i dont know how to lock it well.
Lastly, my ankle. We're starting to do tumblings for gymnast, and sometimes when i didnt land well, it had some impact of my ankle and it hurts.
Wth, all the old injuries are back again.
Sighh, with all these, the monster camp on fri how?
And with all this, how far can i go? how long can i endure?
Seriously, i dont think this can get me anywhere....
Its so dull, so bored.
Sighh third day of sem 2, bored ttm! My modules this sem is like freaking boring i guess!
I havent been listening in tutorials, lectures.
Alright this week tutorial doesnt have anything much, just introduction i guess.
And i've been sleeping in tutorials? OMG i think im still in holiday mood! WAKE UP LIJUAN!!!!!
SIGHHHH, okayokay, i'll promise myself that i'll be all ready by next week, just give me one more week to switch to the right mood please!
Alright, and hopefully when the woman's cheer run end next week, i'll be much much better, seriously, im tired of all this. And comeon, it's just like what? the first freaking week of sem 2?
And speaking of woman's cheer run, our group just did the tshirt today. HOORAY ZOOM!!!!! WE FINISHED THE COSTUME TODAY! At first when we tried the first shirt, we were so cautious, trying to do it so perfectly, yeah indeed, it turns out so nice.
But after a few, we all damn sian, everything just anyhow do, haha we're such a lazy group. but nvm, with the two brilliant and awesome group leaders, we sure win lahh! Haha just jk, im not so thick skinned.
But im so proud of us, we completed everything today, including the writeup which i did, just that ducky have to edit a little i think!
Alright, anw i've been injuring myself recently, due to the extensive trainings we had!!!
Firstly, my thigh, omg my poor thigh, i think i've been overstretching recently. Last week i tried to do heel stretch, i pulled it up all the way and suddenly it was damn freaking pain, i think i tear my muscle.
Then the next day, or two days later, there's gymnast, and i had to stretch like mad, so it kinda worsen?
After one week it got better but not fully recovered, and there's gymnast today and again, i stretch like mad, and it hurts so much, just by walking.
Secondly, my wrist.
My wrist was injured previously, few months ago, but after the few weeks without training, it recovered.
And now, with so many trainings, it hurts again, coz i dont know how to lock it well.
Lastly, my ankle. We're starting to do tumblings for gymnast, and sometimes when i didnt land well, it had some impact of my ankle and it hurts.
Wth, all the old injuries are back again.
Sighh, with all these, the monster camp on fri how?
And with all this, how far can i go? how long can i endure?
Seriously, i dont think this can get me anywhere....
October 17, 2010
A new beginning,
Goodbye holidays, welcome school. Although i really dont want holidays to end ):
Sighhh why cant i have an extra week of holiday just like np students do?
Holidays is boring, but i rather slack than sitting in LT, listening to boring lectures )):
But nvm, i'll look on the bright side, perhaps the modules this sem would be much much more interesting? Though it doesnt seem so to me...
Arrrhh whatever, anw time flies, one sem would be over really soon.
I'll just have to endure through it, like how i did for last sem, actually it wasnt that bad afterall.
Alright, i really hate my timetable anw.
Especially friday, omg why are they always doing this to us?
Cant we end school earlier on friday, so that at least, we can go out?
I dont mind starting early, but at least end it early.
Sighhh nvm, just bear with it for one sem. Oh ya and for dip plus, i tht i can choose the timetable, i actually wanted it on tue, coz my lesson end at 6, just nice i can continue with dip plus.
But they actually planned it for me, and put it on thu, so the thing is i end lesson at 6 on tue, and have to rush to training straight!
Sighhhhh i dont like my timetable!!!!
I shouldnt grumble so much, i cant do anything about it.
Alright, first day of school for my second sem, it'll be good right? I hope this whole sem will be great. This week will be a busy week though its the first week, coz of the cheer competition.
Have to get everything done before camp. Sighhh im gonna have 6 days of training this week, 6 days you know?!
No, sorry 5 for me coz i have dip plus on thu, and from now on, i wont be able to join in training on thu, sorry guys.
Yeah 5 trainings, tue, wed gymnast, fri camp to sun.
Goodluck to me, and everyone else!
Sighhh why cant i have an extra week of holiday just like np students do?
Holidays is boring, but i rather slack than sitting in LT, listening to boring lectures )):
But nvm, i'll look on the bright side, perhaps the modules this sem would be much much more interesting? Though it doesnt seem so to me...
Arrrhh whatever, anw time flies, one sem would be over really soon.
I'll just have to endure through it, like how i did for last sem, actually it wasnt that bad afterall.
Alright, i really hate my timetable anw.
Especially friday, omg why are they always doing this to us?
Cant we end school earlier on friday, so that at least, we can go out?
I dont mind starting early, but at least end it early.
Sighhh nvm, just bear with it for one sem. Oh ya and for dip plus, i tht i can choose the timetable, i actually wanted it on tue, coz my lesson end at 6, just nice i can continue with dip plus.
But they actually planned it for me, and put it on thu, so the thing is i end lesson at 6 on tue, and have to rush to training straight!
Sighhhhh i dont like my timetable!!!!
I shouldnt grumble so much, i cant do anything about it.
Alright, first day of school for my second sem, it'll be good right? I hope this whole sem will be great. This week will be a busy week though its the first week, coz of the cheer competition.
Have to get everything done before camp. Sighhh im gonna have 6 days of training this week, 6 days you know?!
No, sorry 5 for me coz i have dip plus on thu, and from now on, i wont be able to join in training on thu, sorry guys.
Yeah 5 trainings, tue, wed gymnast, fri camp to sun.
Goodluck to me, and everyone else!
October 14, 2010
We are all different,
It has been so long since i came back from cruise. But i still miss cruise sooooooooo much, no maybe not cruise, i just miss that kind of feeling. I miss the sea, when im there, i love looking at the sea, looking at how fast or how slow the ship travels, looking at the waves. It just makes me feel so relax, no problems at all. Idk if you understand what im saying, my point is, i just love the feeling because it just feels that you are away from the world, you dont feel how stressful life is....
I know i've been repeating this over and over again, but i really miss cruise, if i have a choice, i would want to stay there, thats the kind of life i want, i mean not just by slacking and enjoying myself, but its the kind of carefree life that i want, when suddenly you just feel that the pace of life is much slower...
Back here, so many problems. The moment school reopens, it will be so tiring. I know, there's no way i can avoid this, i cant possibly drop out from school right? But seriously, its really stressful. There's gonna be 4 days of training per week, its confirm, the saturday training will be permanent.
I really dont know how long i can hang on. Its not that i dontwant, but sometimes im really tired by all these... Im just afraid that all my efforts will be wasted. There's a limit to everything, i havent reach my limit yet, but i dont know where's it, probably reaching soon.
I just dont know if its worth it for me to do all these, probably, when i really cant find any reason to stay on, thats when everything will come to an end. But now, no i dont want to end it. Sighh... its really troubling me.
And anw, my ankle hurts, i think its not fully recovered after so long, maybe that time when i twisted it, the injury is quite serious.
And my wrist, starts to hurt again, there's still training this coming saturday, sighh, how is it going to recover like that?
Cheer competition, lots of things to do, all by this coming week, how am i gonna rush out all these?
Especially so when we dont really have any ideas contributed, so many things, i've still got project and the dateline is on the first day of school.
Hang on there, until you really cant.
October 11, 2010
What's ahead?
Hmm, this is my last week of holiday, time flies right?
When school reopens, its gonna be the 2nd sem, the workload and everything is gonna be heavier right?
Okay, i've just chose my gems, for those who dont know what is gems, its actually general elective module.
In sp, we just have to choose for every sem, another module which is not part of our diploma.
Hmm, and the thing is, they have three different clusters, and for every sem, we have to choose from a different cluster.
Yeap, so this is my first time choosing gems, then at first i really dont know what to choose, thr's so many modules, you dont know which one is easy, which one you like.
Then i narrowed it down to calendar and astronomy, which im interested in, and love and relations, which many ppl said its slack.
And in the end, i got into love and relations, coz initially, i wanted astronomy, but there's no more availability for the timeslot i wanted.
Yeah, so finally something off my mind, i've been thinking abt it whole night since yesterday and i just cant make up my mind.
Yupp so, anw, i just feel that sem 2 will be much more stress for me i guess?
I heard that after sch reopen, thr's still gonna be training on saturday, at first its hols now, thats why we have training on sat.
But if its still gonna be like that even after sch reopens, then cheer will really take up lots of my time.
4 trainings in a week, including gymnast.
Sighhh im not a superwoman seriously, if its hols, i still can, but when school reopens, when i need time to revise my work, do tutorials, how am i gonna manage my time.
Moreover, i've accepted the diploma plus, its gonna be really stressful right?
Sighh.. but i'll try, try my best to manage my time though.
If i dont try, how would i know i cant right? Its not worth giving up for dip plus coz of cheer, and its not worth giving up cheer coz of dip plus.
So, im just gonna try for both, unless i really cant.
But i shouldnt underestimate myself, maybe i can yeah.
JIAYOU!
When school reopens, its gonna be the 2nd sem, the workload and everything is gonna be heavier right?
Okay, i've just chose my gems, for those who dont know what is gems, its actually general elective module.
In sp, we just have to choose for every sem, another module which is not part of our diploma.
Hmm, and the thing is, they have three different clusters, and for every sem, we have to choose from a different cluster.
Yeap, so this is my first time choosing gems, then at first i really dont know what to choose, thr's so many modules, you dont know which one is easy, which one you like.
Then i narrowed it down to calendar and astronomy, which im interested in, and love and relations, which many ppl said its slack.
And in the end, i got into love and relations, coz initially, i wanted astronomy, but there's no more availability for the timeslot i wanted.
Yeah, so finally something off my mind, i've been thinking abt it whole night since yesterday and i just cant make up my mind.
Yupp so, anw, i just feel that sem 2 will be much more stress for me i guess?
I heard that after sch reopen, thr's still gonna be training on saturday, at first its hols now, thats why we have training on sat.
But if its still gonna be like that even after sch reopens, then cheer will really take up lots of my time.
4 trainings in a week, including gymnast.
Sighhh im not a superwoman seriously, if its hols, i still can, but when school reopens, when i need time to revise my work, do tutorials, how am i gonna manage my time.
Moreover, i've accepted the diploma plus, its gonna be really stressful right?
Sighh.. but i'll try, try my best to manage my time though.
If i dont try, how would i know i cant right? Its not worth giving up for dip plus coz of cheer, and its not worth giving up cheer coz of dip plus.
So, im just gonna try for both, unless i really cant.
But i shouldnt underestimate myself, maybe i can yeah.
JIAYOU!
October 9, 2010
There's a limit to everything...
This week is so tiring, filled with training, training and training...
Had training on tuesday and thursaday, ran 2.4 on thursday which was part of our napfa, omg i tink that was the fastest timing i ever got, i really tried my best okay, though it may not be good enough for some people, but yeah, whatever, at least i've reach the target set.
Today was a long day of training, from 9 to 4, yeah supposedly i thought it would be crazy to train like that, yeah but no, time passed quite fast, and to think of it, we had like 11 hrs of training for one of the days during training camp, so actually, this is nothing compared to that.
Okay after training with out with hp, that crazy girl, omg she is so super crazy, she made me take a bus from dover to imm, and when i reach thr, she said we can leave, and we head over to town. Wth? she made me travel there for nothing?
And and and she made me spend so much, on food! Wth, this crazy girl, still as crazy as before.
Alright, and anw, for today's training, sighhh though time passed quite fast, but its quite tiring. Why? Coz i base today, i couldnt fly coz of my knee injury, so i asked to be base, but i think i didnt try it for really long, omg, really feel that i've got no strength ):
Partner stunt and group stunt all cmi....
My wrist hurts alot now coz i didnt lock it well... Oh gosh, that time i injured it, and it took quite long to fully recover, sigh...
And my ankle, i tink i accidentally twisted to a side, and its a little painful..
Okay, so the conclusion is, being a base is very tiring, i understand how the guys feel okay, and thats even worse for girl base please.
And being a flyer is very scary, we got so many casualties today ): I hope all of you are fine!
Yeah, so its definitely not easy to be anyone of it, also spotter not easy too, always get hit by flyer! And its v tiring to spot also!
So, its just not easy to be in gusto, endurance level needs to be high, very high.
Yeah okay anw, something random...
I just want to say, i hate plastic faces, plastic smiles.
Dont show it to me, dont give me excuses as explanation.
Dont take things for granted, you'll understand how it feels if u are treated like that.
But seriously, before all these, hide your plastic smile.
Had training on tuesday and thursaday, ran 2.4 on thursday which was part of our napfa, omg i tink that was the fastest timing i ever got, i really tried my best okay, though it may not be good enough for some people, but yeah, whatever, at least i've reach the target set.
Today was a long day of training, from 9 to 4, yeah supposedly i thought it would be crazy to train like that, yeah but no, time passed quite fast, and to think of it, we had like 11 hrs of training for one of the days during training camp, so actually, this is nothing compared to that.
Okay after training with out with hp, that crazy girl, omg she is so super crazy, she made me take a bus from dover to imm, and when i reach thr, she said we can leave, and we head over to town. Wth? she made me travel there for nothing?
And and and she made me spend so much, on food! Wth, this crazy girl, still as crazy as before.
Alright, and anw, for today's training, sighhh though time passed quite fast, but its quite tiring. Why? Coz i base today, i couldnt fly coz of my knee injury, so i asked to be base, but i think i didnt try it for really long, omg, really feel that i've got no strength ):
Partner stunt and group stunt all cmi....
My wrist hurts alot now coz i didnt lock it well... Oh gosh, that time i injured it, and it took quite long to fully recover, sigh...
And my ankle, i tink i accidentally twisted to a side, and its a little painful..
Okay, so the conclusion is, being a base is very tiring, i understand how the guys feel okay, and thats even worse for girl base please.
And being a flyer is very scary, we got so many casualties today ): I hope all of you are fine!
Yeah, so its definitely not easy to be anyone of it, also spotter not easy too, always get hit by flyer! And its v tiring to spot also!
So, its just not easy to be in gusto, endurance level needs to be high, very high.
Yeah okay anw, something random...
I just want to say, i hate plastic faces, plastic smiles.
Dont show it to me, dont give me excuses as explanation.
Dont take things for granted, you'll understand how it feels if u are treated like that.
But seriously, before all these, hide your plastic smile.
October 7, 2010
Boring life...
I cant believe im just gonna spent my holidays like that.... And seriously, my holidays are going to end soon, like in 10 more days or so?
So what have i done during this holiday? Mostly taken up by cca, then i had the cruise, i guess its the only thing i had enjoyed, and staying at home rotting...
I really want to go out everyday, but i know if im out, i will spent money, obviously right? So i restricting myself to go out, or maybe once in a while....
Sighhh today is a training day again, and i have to go school earlier to do project.
Wth, is this even like a damn holiday?
Oh anw, went for cca on tue, AND I FELL ON THE KNEE, INJURED THE EXACT SAME SPOT!
WTHHHHHH, OMG i think the wound is going to split open again, and if it does, its gonna be the third time i injured my knee...
Please dont, it hurts alot. If this goes on, i guess my wound will never recover... Everytime i fall, it splits open, thats coz the wound hasnt fully healed yet.
So.... i guess no stunting for today? Yeah... no stunting, if i want the wound to heal...
Okay, my holidays are left with about 10 days? Im gonna spent it wisely, i dont care if im spending lots of money, i will have to get out of my house during the hols, oh yeah and i said i want to start baking during this hol, but i didnt bake anything at all......
Can i have a longer holiday please?
So what have i done during this holiday? Mostly taken up by cca, then i had the cruise, i guess its the only thing i had enjoyed, and staying at home rotting...
I really want to go out everyday, but i know if im out, i will spent money, obviously right? So i restricting myself to go out, or maybe once in a while....
Sighhh today is a training day again, and i have to go school earlier to do project.
Wth, is this even like a damn holiday?
Oh anw, went for cca on tue, AND I FELL ON THE KNEE, INJURED THE EXACT SAME SPOT!
WTHHHHHH, OMG i think the wound is going to split open again, and if it does, its gonna be the third time i injured my knee...
Please dont, it hurts alot. If this goes on, i guess my wound will never recover... Everytime i fall, it splits open, thats coz the wound hasnt fully healed yet.
So.... i guess no stunting for today? Yeah... no stunting, if i want the wound to heal...
Okay, my holidays are left with about 10 days? Im gonna spent it wisely, i dont care if im spending lots of money, i will have to get out of my house during the hols, oh yeah and i said i want to start baking during this hol, but i didnt bake anything at all......
Can i have a longer holiday please?
October 5, 2010
Its tiring like this...
Sometimes its kinda disappointing, when you thought you have changed someone, make a difference to them, and you realize that no, you did nothing at all...
Is it so difficult to make up your mind to do something?
And since you decided to do it, why cant just do it well? Why should anyone make a decision to do something, and yet, they get affected by some other things....
Maybe everyone is different, just because i can do it, doesnt mean others can. But im just disappointed, i thought all these things have made some changes, but no, it doesnt help at all.
And its tiring, to keep saying things, doing things to help, when i dont see why i have to do it...
If you like something so much, do you even feel the pain and hardship while doing it?
Do you even think its difficult to accomplish it? Seriously, when you have gone through lots of things, experience lots of difficulties, thats what allow you to grow, learn and change.
And perhaps, they just didnt know, coz they just didnt experience what you did.
Is it so difficult to make up your mind to do something?
And since you decided to do it, why cant just do it well? Why should anyone make a decision to do something, and yet, they get affected by some other things....
Maybe everyone is different, just because i can do it, doesnt mean others can. But im just disappointed, i thought all these things have made some changes, but no, it doesnt help at all.
And its tiring, to keep saying things, doing things to help, when i dont see why i have to do it...
If you like something so much, do you even feel the pain and hardship while doing it?
Do you even think its difficult to accomplish it? Seriously, when you have gone through lots of things, experience lots of difficulties, thats what allow you to grow, learn and change.
And perhaps, they just didnt know, coz they just didnt experience what you did.
October 4, 2010
No expectations, no disappointment
Blame myself for having such high expectations, i shouldnt have expected anything at all.
Results were out today, quite disappointing.
I didnt do really badly, but it just didnt meet my own expectations.
Im just really disappointed, i've put in so much effort for dbe, is this what i deserve?
Yeah, i've said, this world is unfair, the sad thing is, sometimes you dont reap what you sow.
Putting in effort doesnt always mean that you can get what you want. But what can i do? Whats over is over, i can only work even harder, hoping that my results will be better in the next sem.
But the feeling, when you know that you should deserve something better yet you dont get it, that kind of feeling is really disappointing and discouraging.
Back to those same old posts, if only i am still on cruise, i dont have to face reality, and all these shit problems......
Sighhh, i dontwant to say my results here, but if anyone want to know, i can tell.
I just dontwant to say it in my blog, as if announcing to the whole world.
Anw, i've got nothing to be proud of. One dbe which i had put in so much effort but dont see the results. Another onow which is like character education and by right i shld have done well, but dont see the results too.
Yeah thats pretty bad, in poly its like this. Projects are like this, doesnt mean putting in effort will allow you to get good grades.
Whereas secondary school is like, if you study, mug like mad, u can do well.
Maybe in jc, thats the advantage over poly, except for their pw, the other subjects, if you are really mugging like mad, its still possible to get good grades.
But poly, it all depends on your tutor....
Sighh... at first i told myself, whatever the results are, dont be sad, dont be disappointed as long as i know i have done my very best.
But i cant help feeling sad upon seeing this kind of results, which i thought i would have done better....
Especially dbe, seriously, i've always got headache when i have projects for this module. Nevertheless, i've spend lots of time, effort in it.
But....
And moreover, econs and pacc are not included in this sem's computation of gpa, sighhh...
Let's just hope for the better....
Results were out today, quite disappointing.
I didnt do really badly, but it just didnt meet my own expectations.
Im just really disappointed, i've put in so much effort for dbe, is this what i deserve?
Yeah, i've said, this world is unfair, the sad thing is, sometimes you dont reap what you sow.
Putting in effort doesnt always mean that you can get what you want. But what can i do? Whats over is over, i can only work even harder, hoping that my results will be better in the next sem.
But the feeling, when you know that you should deserve something better yet you dont get it, that kind of feeling is really disappointing and discouraging.
Back to those same old posts, if only i am still on cruise, i dont have to face reality, and all these shit problems......
Sighhh, i dontwant to say my results here, but if anyone want to know, i can tell.
I just dontwant to say it in my blog, as if announcing to the whole world.
Anw, i've got nothing to be proud of. One dbe which i had put in so much effort but dont see the results. Another onow which is like character education and by right i shld have done well, but dont see the results too.
Yeah thats pretty bad, in poly its like this. Projects are like this, doesnt mean putting in effort will allow you to get good grades.
Whereas secondary school is like, if you study, mug like mad, u can do well.
Maybe in jc, thats the advantage over poly, except for their pw, the other subjects, if you are really mugging like mad, its still possible to get good grades.
But poly, it all depends on your tutor....
Sighh... at first i told myself, whatever the results are, dont be sad, dont be disappointed as long as i know i have done my very best.
But i cant help feeling sad upon seeing this kind of results, which i thought i would have done better....
Especially dbe, seriously, i've always got headache when i have projects for this module. Nevertheless, i've spend lots of time, effort in it.
But....
And moreover, econs and pacc are not included in this sem's computation of gpa, sighhh...
Let's just hope for the better....
October 2, 2010
I wish....
I hope i was still in cruise, i know i repeated this many many times.
But seriously, i really hope for that, i hope i will never have to come back, even if it means i have to stay in the ship, be in the sea forever, i dont mind, i mean as long as i have others with me...
Sighh, when i was there, i've got this feeling that im separated from this world, i dont need to care about anything.
After coming back, it feels so different, life becomes so stressful again, its as if you are in a dream, and the dream is so wonderful, but you just woke up and back to reality.
I think i've got so many things to do. I got so many trainings during hols, i got to do my project, i got to settle the cheerleading competition thing.
OMG, i really wish that im still in my so called dream.
Sighhhhh...... tml is sunday, and it has been like a freaking week after leaving for cruise last sunday.
Omg time really flies. Gosshhh, can i just carry on with that kind of carefree life and never have to continue studying, never need to have any worries?
Yeah i know its impossible....
Was talking with the lovely peeps just now about how life is, i know i sounded so materialistic just now, yeah and i know im like money-faced.
I dont know what's got over me, but i just suddenly feel that money is so important, yeah and thats what i told them just now, money is the most important thing on earth, this makes me sound like a damn bitch, as if im trying to cheat others of their money.
I mean i've always felt that money is important, but i didnt think that it is the most important thing.... but somehow, if you can choose between money and a relationship, what would you want?
I dont know, i really dont know, in the past i've had hope in relationship, and believed that most relationships will eventually have a good ending, but no, maybe not anymore.
Im just thinking, why cant life be fair?
Much more fair to everyone?
Why do some people have everything?
And yet some people simply have none.
Why are some people born with a silver spoon, they do not have to do anything for their whole life, yet they still can enjoy life.
Why do some people can always end up with someone with loves them, dotes on them, while some people just have to suffer in a relationship.
Everything is just so unfair, to some people.
Thats the thing about the world, this world is ugly, everything is so superficial. Perhaps thats the reason why i look upon money as such an important thing, coz maybe nothing last forever.
I asked, what thing on earth doesnt need money.
And i got the answer: friends.
But some friends only hang out with you coz you are rich.
And can anyone say that friends will stay by your side forever?
Thats the thing when i have to come back to reality, facing problems which you dont want to face.
If only, if only i can wish...
"Count the garden by the flowers, never by the leaves that fall.
Count your life with smiles and not the tears that roll."
Emo is not a choice, its a kind of feeling.
Dont blame others for being emo, dont blame me, im just saying what i feel.
But seriously, i really hope for that, i hope i will never have to come back, even if it means i have to stay in the ship, be in the sea forever, i dont mind, i mean as long as i have others with me...
Sighh, when i was there, i've got this feeling that im separated from this world, i dont need to care about anything.
After coming back, it feels so different, life becomes so stressful again, its as if you are in a dream, and the dream is so wonderful, but you just woke up and back to reality.
I think i've got so many things to do. I got so many trainings during hols, i got to do my project, i got to settle the cheerleading competition thing.
OMG, i really wish that im still in my so called dream.
Sighhhhh...... tml is sunday, and it has been like a freaking week after leaving for cruise last sunday.
Omg time really flies. Gosshhh, can i just carry on with that kind of carefree life and never have to continue studying, never need to have any worries?
Yeah i know its impossible....
Was talking with the lovely peeps just now about how life is, i know i sounded so materialistic just now, yeah and i know im like money-faced.
I dont know what's got over me, but i just suddenly feel that money is so important, yeah and thats what i told them just now, money is the most important thing on earth, this makes me sound like a damn bitch, as if im trying to cheat others of their money.
I mean i've always felt that money is important, but i didnt think that it is the most important thing.... but somehow, if you can choose between money and a relationship, what would you want?
I dont know, i really dont know, in the past i've had hope in relationship, and believed that most relationships will eventually have a good ending, but no, maybe not anymore.
Im just thinking, why cant life be fair?
Much more fair to everyone?
Why do some people have everything?
And yet some people simply have none.
Why are some people born with a silver spoon, they do not have to do anything for their whole life, yet they still can enjoy life.
Why do some people can always end up with someone with loves them, dotes on them, while some people just have to suffer in a relationship.
Everything is just so unfair, to some people.
Thats the thing about the world, this world is ugly, everything is so superficial. Perhaps thats the reason why i look upon money as such an important thing, coz maybe nothing last forever.
I asked, what thing on earth doesnt need money.
And i got the answer: friends.
But some friends only hang out with you coz you are rich.
And can anyone say that friends will stay by your side forever?
Thats the thing when i have to come back to reality, facing problems which you dont want to face.
If only, if only i can wish...
"Count the garden by the flowers, never by the leaves that fall.
Count your life with smiles and not the tears that roll."
Emo is not a choice, its a kind of feeling.
Dont blame others for being emo, dont blame me, im just saying what i feel.
October 1, 2010
I dont like to adapt,
Hello, sighh.... im missing cruise so much, missing everything there...
Miss the food, miss my cabin, miss the restaurant, miss the sea, miss the service there, miss the people there........
Sighhh im still imagining myself on the cruise...
Nah back to reality please. I hate to change and adapt, im used to being on the cruise though i only spend 4 days. And now i have to adapt back to this life... sigh... i wanna go back and enjoy life!!!!
Okay whatever, when i have the money to, i'll definitely be back there!
Anyway, i went back to school yesterday for cca, yea back to school, you understand how it feels, when you can enjoy life on cruise, walking around and exploring, then you have to go back to the boring school ):
So i had napfa, and yeah most of the stations was pretty okay.
I PASSED MY FREAKING STANDING BROAD JUMP!!!!
But i keep thinking its a "fake pass". Coz i keep stepping on the line, though i jump over the target, but im not suppose to step on the line.
But in the end coach let me pass, so i keep thinking its a fake pass.
Yeah maybe i shld try again for the retest next week, i want an actual one, a real pass.
Speaking of napfa, let me tell you my schedule next week.
Tue, thu there's training as usual. Then we got additional training on saturday, from morning till afternoon, and we still have gymnast training on sunday night.
Out of 7 days in a week, training took up 4 days, i still need to do a project for the cruise, sigh......
What a boring life this is, i wanna be back on cruise, that kind of carefree life, no worries at all!
September 29, 2010
Our memories - DTRM cruise trip :D
Hello people!
Im back from my 4D3N cruise trip to phuket and langkawi :D
Well, this trip obviously is fun though i wasnt looking forward to it at first.
Yeah, but i did enjoy myself when i went there, just that our schedule is quite tight, and when we went over to phuket and langkawi, we had to rush, but i still managed to do a little shopping! :D
Alright, this post is full of photos(definitely), i've still got lots of them which i need to upload to fb, these photos over here are just a small part of all that i have taken.
I've spend quite a lot of time doing the photos, yeah coz i dont think you guys will know how is it like if this is a wordy post. But, you guys wont be able to tell how fun is it just by looking at the pictures either. So, warning: this is a really long post, spend some time reading it, coz i spend lots of time blogging :D
Alright, so presenting to you superstar virgo, where i've been on for the past 4 days!
I decided to keep this as a memory for part of the cruise. My access card/ room card.
So this was when we were waiting to be check in at harbourfront. We were really bored coz we waited for 2 hrs or so? Yeah but obviously we walked around a little.
Yes, and after the few hrs which is like forever, we finally made it in, and we went to our cabin. Anyway, for ours, there's 4 person in a cabin. It may be a little squeezy for 4 persons, but actually it isnt as bad as i thought.
And then we went out of our cabins, and explore around. We were like country bumpkins there. LOL, we just went all around and took pictures almost everywhere, wherever we think its nice.
There's more of it....
Alright, this is a picture of the water. Obviously this isnt the water of singapore coz its clear blue. It's really nice, i dont think we get to see the blue waters in singapore.
Around the cruise...
Alright, we reached phuket on the second day in the evening. So we head over to phuket fantasea, a theme park over there. Its quite beautiful at night, when you see all the lights. And we watched the show, i must say, its really nice. Though there are some parts which are slightly more boring, but most of it was nice, especially the elephant part. Lol, they are really cute. Yes, i mentioned before, we are like country bumpkins.
And on the third day, we reached langkawi, and head over to a resort, four seasons resort. We explored around the place, this is what tourism students should be doing. Its really pretty over there, but the rates are expernsive too!
Over there, their suite with the lowest price is about 5800RM per night, which is about 2400 plus sing dollars. And its the lowest price. They have a royal suite, which is 21000RM per night, omg thats crazy. The pictures over here are the suite with the lowest price, but its already very nice. Cant imagaine how comfortable the royal suite would be. Alright, so they have a walk-in wardrobe, jacuzzi, indoor and outdoor shower and lots more... The outdoor shower is really cool, dont worry, no one will peep. But its really nice. Luckily i am a tourism student and i have this opportunity to step in there.
Yes, and just because of this, i've decided to get a really rich husband in the future. Either my husband has to be rich, or i have to be rich. But i rather enjoy life by letting my husband be rich. Well, im not money-faced, coz tell me who doesnt want money?
Well but if im materialistic, i admit it. But who doesnt want to enjoy life isnt it? True, but money arent everything, so there's gonna be this guy who's rich and who's nice too. Yeah i wish i can find, maybe in my dreams.
And this are the food for gala night dinner. There's the appetizer, soup, main course and dessert. Well, the food isnt really wonderful, but its not that bad either. In fact, all our food on board was pretty okay.
Alright, then there's many many pictures for gala night, more of it which i didnt upload here. I guess everyone made the effort to prepare for it though its just a dinner. Okay, everyone looks stunning last night :D
And over there, we made friends with some australians.
They are really friendly, oh and humerous too. Enjoyed chatting with them. I think we chatted for quite long, till about 1 or 2 am. The restaurant was about to close and i think the staff were just waiting for us to leave, we were the only customers there.
So after our dinner, we went over to galaxy of stars, sat there, talk a little, and look at others playing games. As in those kind of games when they would invite couples up on stage, and ask some questions, or ask them to dance together. And actually we arent allowed to stay after 11 if we are under 18, but we didnt speak, they didnt ask. Yeah and after the games, they opened the dance floor. At first we didnt join in, but after a while, all of us joined in and dance. Was quite fun though i didnt know how to dance, i just remembered myself being so crazy, twisting, turning and laughing, grabbing others to dance with me.
Then there's our last day over there, we grab hold of the opportunities to take the last few photos we could.
And finally, home sweet home. Back home feeling super tired. But i didnt sleep surprisingly, im still awake now.
Okay so in all, this cruise trip is fabulous!
I really like the feeling of being on a cruise, when you can go out to feel the sea breeze whenever you want, and go back to the cabin when you're tired.
This 4 days definitely left some memories for all of us.
And its an eye-opener for me especially when i visited the phuket fantasea and four seasons resort in langkawi.
And i've also made friends from other countries! :D
Well, not forgetting the food over there.
We can have 6 meals per day, but obviously we didnt eat that much. But its still quite a lot especially when there's the buffet on board, and their serving is for non-buffet restaurants are alot.
I really feel as if i had gain 5kg. OMG, i've got to slim down this holiday, got to do some exercise!
Yeah thats pretty much for the cruise trip.
Oh anw i've got napfa test tml, my greatest fear - standing broad jump.
Im not really prepared, i just came back today, and i didnt do anything for the past few days.
Gosh, but im gonna try my best. And yes, have confidence in myself, I CAN DO IT! :D
That's about it, im still gonna go upload photos on fb, yes do remember to check out my photos on fb, its much clearer over there since the photos are bigger, and there's more of it!
That's it, bye!
Im back from my 4D3N cruise trip to phuket and langkawi :D
Well, this trip obviously is fun though i wasnt looking forward to it at first.
Yeah, but i did enjoy myself when i went there, just that our schedule is quite tight, and when we went over to phuket and langkawi, we had to rush, but i still managed to do a little shopping! :D
Alright, this post is full of photos(definitely), i've still got lots of them which i need to upload to fb, these photos over here are just a small part of all that i have taken.
I've spend quite a lot of time doing the photos, yeah coz i dont think you guys will know how is it like if this is a wordy post. But, you guys wont be able to tell how fun is it just by looking at the pictures either. So, warning: this is a really long post, spend some time reading it, coz i spend lots of time blogging :D
Alright, so presenting to you superstar virgo, where i've been on for the past 4 days!
I decided to keep this as a memory for part of the cruise. My access card/ room card.
So this was when we were waiting to be check in at harbourfront. We were really bored coz we waited for 2 hrs or so? Yeah but obviously we walked around a little.
Yes, and after the few hrs which is like forever, we finally made it in, and we went to our cabin. Anyway, for ours, there's 4 person in a cabin. It may be a little squeezy for 4 persons, but actually it isnt as bad as i thought.
And then we went out of our cabins, and explore around. We were like country bumpkins there. LOL, we just went all around and took pictures almost everywhere, wherever we think its nice.
There's more of it....
Alright, this is a picture of the water. Obviously this isnt the water of singapore coz its clear blue. It's really nice, i dont think we get to see the blue waters in singapore.
Around the cruise...
Alright, we reached phuket on the second day in the evening. So we head over to phuket fantasea, a theme park over there. Its quite beautiful at night, when you see all the lights. And we watched the show, i must say, its really nice. Though there are some parts which are slightly more boring, but most of it was nice, especially the elephant part. Lol, they are really cute. Yes, i mentioned before, we are like country bumpkins.
And on the third day, we reached langkawi, and head over to a resort, four seasons resort. We explored around the place, this is what tourism students should be doing. Its really pretty over there, but the rates are expernsive too!
Over there, their suite with the lowest price is about 5800RM per night, which is about 2400 plus sing dollars. And its the lowest price. They have a royal suite, which is 21000RM per night, omg thats crazy. The pictures over here are the suite with the lowest price, but its already very nice. Cant imagaine how comfortable the royal suite would be. Alright, so they have a walk-in wardrobe, jacuzzi, indoor and outdoor shower and lots more... The outdoor shower is really cool, dont worry, no one will peep. But its really nice. Luckily i am a tourism student and i have this opportunity to step in there.
Yes, and just because of this, i've decided to get a really rich husband in the future. Either my husband has to be rich, or i have to be rich. But i rather enjoy life by letting my husband be rich. Well, im not money-faced, coz tell me who doesnt want money?
Well but if im materialistic, i admit it. But who doesnt want to enjoy life isnt it? True, but money arent everything, so there's gonna be this guy who's rich and who's nice too. Yeah i wish i can find, maybe in my dreams.
And this are the food for gala night dinner. There's the appetizer, soup, main course and dessert. Well, the food isnt really wonderful, but its not that bad either. In fact, all our food on board was pretty okay.
Alright, then there's many many pictures for gala night, more of it which i didnt upload here. I guess everyone made the effort to prepare for it though its just a dinner. Okay, everyone looks stunning last night :D
And over there, we made friends with some australians.
They are really friendly, oh and humerous too. Enjoyed chatting with them. I think we chatted for quite long, till about 1 or 2 am. The restaurant was about to close and i think the staff were just waiting for us to leave, we were the only customers there.
So after our dinner, we went over to galaxy of stars, sat there, talk a little, and look at others playing games. As in those kind of games when they would invite couples up on stage, and ask some questions, or ask them to dance together. And actually we arent allowed to stay after 11 if we are under 18, but we didnt speak, they didnt ask. Yeah and after the games, they opened the dance floor. At first we didnt join in, but after a while, all of us joined in and dance. Was quite fun though i didnt know how to dance, i just remembered myself being so crazy, twisting, turning and laughing, grabbing others to dance with me.
Then there's our last day over there, we grab hold of the opportunities to take the last few photos we could.
And finally, home sweet home. Back home feeling super tired. But i didnt sleep surprisingly, im still awake now.
Okay so in all, this cruise trip is fabulous!
I really like the feeling of being on a cruise, when you can go out to feel the sea breeze whenever you want, and go back to the cabin when you're tired.
This 4 days definitely left some memories for all of us.
And its an eye-opener for me especially when i visited the phuket fantasea and four seasons resort in langkawi.
And i've also made friends from other countries! :D
Well, not forgetting the food over there.
We can have 6 meals per day, but obviously we didnt eat that much. But its still quite a lot especially when there's the buffet on board, and their serving is for non-buffet restaurants are alot.
I really feel as if i had gain 5kg. OMG, i've got to slim down this holiday, got to do some exercise!
Yeah thats pretty much for the cruise trip.
Oh anw i've got napfa test tml, my greatest fear - standing broad jump.
Im not really prepared, i just came back today, and i didnt do anything for the past few days.
Gosh, but im gonna try my best. And yes, have confidence in myself, I CAN DO IT! :D
That's about it, im still gonna go upload photos on fb, yes do remember to check out my photos on fb, its much clearer over there since the photos are bigger, and there's more of it!
That's it, bye!
September 25, 2010
Leave everything behind,
Hi just one more post before i leave for my cruise trip tml.
I have to reach school at around 9 tml, so i have to sleep early.
Alright, just a quick one i hope.
Im just rather pissed off just now, coz i was trying to stuff all those things into my small little pathetic bag.
Well at first i wanted to bring a luggage over, but the luggage is seriously too big.
Even my mum said its big, and it will be so weird to bring it there.
I mean im just going on a 3/4 days cruise trip, and im bringing such a big luggage there? Others will think im crazy.
Okay, so i decided to bring another smaller bag, but i had such a difficult time putting everything inside.
Yes finally i did it, but there's still some things which i need to squeeze inside tml.
Seriously, im not really looking forward to this cruise.
Idk why, but im still gonna be more positive, hope its fun.
I'll just take this trip as a time for me to relax?
An opportunity for me to leave all these shit problems behind, have a little fun, and hopefully when im back in a few days time, im perfectly alright.
Yeah im telling myself to let go of all these shit, no problem for me.
I'll come back and update about the cruise trip alright?
Yeah, and i went for a mani today, just to pamper myself a little before the cruise.
And also coz i have a gala night, a dinner, on the 3rd day.
Since i didnt really get myself anything for gala night, i decided to go for mani instead.
Alright, i dont really have the time to upload some photos, coz i think i need to slp if not i will be so sleepy tml.
Okay see you guys after a few days! :D
Oh yeah, the day right after my cruise is my napfa test, wish me luck please.
Okay, im off, dont miss me too much! :D
I have to reach school at around 9 tml, so i have to sleep early.
Alright, just a quick one i hope.
Im just rather pissed off just now, coz i was trying to stuff all those things into my small little pathetic bag.
Well at first i wanted to bring a luggage over, but the luggage is seriously too big.
Even my mum said its big, and it will be so weird to bring it there.
I mean im just going on a 3/4 days cruise trip, and im bringing such a big luggage there? Others will think im crazy.
Okay, so i decided to bring another smaller bag, but i had such a difficult time putting everything inside.
Yes finally i did it, but there's still some things which i need to squeeze inside tml.
Seriously, im not really looking forward to this cruise.
Idk why, but im still gonna be more positive, hope its fun.
I'll just take this trip as a time for me to relax?
An opportunity for me to leave all these shit problems behind, have a little fun, and hopefully when im back in a few days time, im perfectly alright.
Yeah im telling myself to let go of all these shit, no problem for me.
I'll come back and update about the cruise trip alright?
Yeah, and i went for a mani today, just to pamper myself a little before the cruise.
And also coz i have a gala night, a dinner, on the 3rd day.
Since i didnt really get myself anything for gala night, i decided to go for mani instead.
Alright, i dont really have the time to upload some photos, coz i think i need to slp if not i will be so sleepy tml.
Okay see you guys after a few days! :D
Oh yeah, the day right after my cruise is my napfa test, wish me luck please.
Okay, im off, dont miss me too much! :D
September 23, 2010
After so long,
Hello, i'm kind of busy recently, but im still kind of bored.
Idk why, haha if im busy, i shouldnt have any time to be bored right?
Lol there's just something wrong with me.
Alright, i went shopping with my sis on monday, bought some things :D
Haha i think i havent been buying things for quite some time!
Oh yeah speaking of that, mum just bought a new wardrobe for my room.
Yeah finally, i've got a new wardrobe, i mean to replace the old one..
At least i got more place to hang my clothes, my previous one is like damn pathetic, and i've been using that for really long.
The wardrobe will be delivered over this afternoon, which should be here soon, and i'll be busy packing my stuff.
And there's also training later on, yeah finally after such a long time there's training.
I mean a proper training, not the training camp :D
Okay, i think im dead, i havent start packing my stuff for cruise.
Not that im kiasu, but i always take a damn long time to do the packing.
Even if im going for camp, i will take a few hrs to finish packing when others can do it in an hr or so.
Yeah i think i'll start packing tml, and im gonna get my mani done on saturday! :D
Oh yeah something proud for me to mention about.
My standing broad jump!
I've seen improvements this few days.
Im getting closer to the requirements for a C.
Hey im not haolian-ing over here, but just mentioning.
But i've put in effort for that, and i should be proud of my own improvements.
Yeah, have more confidence in myself, it helps.
Haha i realized training camp really taught me alot, and kind of changed me?
Yes yes yes, i believed that i can and i will be able to do well for this napfa! :D
Yeah that'll be all for now.
:D
I'll continue to work hard for my sbj, not forgetting other stations, coz i dontwant pt pt pt pt pt!
Jiayou to myself!
Byebye.
Idk why, haha if im busy, i shouldnt have any time to be bored right?
Lol there's just something wrong with me.
Alright, i went shopping with my sis on monday, bought some things :D
Haha i think i havent been buying things for quite some time!
Oh yeah speaking of that, mum just bought a new wardrobe for my room.
Yeah finally, i've got a new wardrobe, i mean to replace the old one..
At least i got more place to hang my clothes, my previous one is like damn pathetic, and i've been using that for really long.
The wardrobe will be delivered over this afternoon, which should be here soon, and i'll be busy packing my stuff.
And there's also training later on, yeah finally after such a long time there's training.
I mean a proper training, not the training camp :D
Okay, i think im dead, i havent start packing my stuff for cruise.
Not that im kiasu, but i always take a damn long time to do the packing.
Even if im going for camp, i will take a few hrs to finish packing when others can do it in an hr or so.
Yeah i think i'll start packing tml, and im gonna get my mani done on saturday! :D
Oh yeah something proud for me to mention about.
My standing broad jump!
I've seen improvements this few days.
Im getting closer to the requirements for a C.
Hey im not haolian-ing over here, but just mentioning.
But i've put in effort for that, and i should be proud of my own improvements.
Yeah, have more confidence in myself, it helps.
Haha i realized training camp really taught me alot, and kind of changed me?
Yes yes yes, i believed that i can and i will be able to do well for this napfa! :D
Yeah that'll be all for now.
:D
I'll continue to work hard for my sbj, not forgetting other stations, coz i dontwant pt pt pt pt pt!
Jiayou to myself!
Byebye.
September 20, 2010
Letting go is part of life.
Life doesn't allow us to have to everything.
In times, there's a need to let go.
No point holding on to the wrong person, because he'll never be there by your side.
You have to let go of the wrong person before meeting the right person.
Love beats jealousy.
When you said you love someone, its not about having the person.
Its just that you want the person to be happy with whoever he loves.
And letting go makes you stronger, it allows you to learn
BY2-爱上你
爱上你不需要理由,你到底懂不懂
可是怀念竟比失去还要更难受
爱让我想起你的时候 泪禁不住滑落
可惜你永远都不会懂
In times, there's a need to let go.
No point holding on to the wrong person, because he'll never be there by your side.
You have to let go of the wrong person before meeting the right person.
Love beats jealousy.
When you said you love someone, its not about having the person.
Its just that you want the person to be happy with whoever he loves.
And letting go makes you stronger, it allows you to learn
BY2-爱上你
爱上你不需要理由,你到底懂不懂
可是怀念竟比失去还要更难受
爱让我想起你的时候 泪禁不住滑落
可惜你永远都不会懂
September 19, 2010
We are gusto!
Okay guys im super tired now.
I just came back from camp not too long ago, just had my "dinner" which is like supper.
Alright, my eyes are about to close, but my hair isnt dry, so after blogging, i'll just off my laptop, lie on bed, this time it wont take 1-2 hrs for me to slp, i think within 5 mins i can fall asleep.
Okay so about camp, i'll just make it a short one, coz everything that happens can just link to a few main points that i wanted to talk about.
This camp is tiring, really super tiring, my body is aching everywhere, but, i didnt regret coming though, coz i really learn and experience alot.
Not just on stunts, true we learn alot of new stunts, but about what is a team.
More about what is gusto, and im sure everyone benefited from that.
This camp is really unforgettable, i guess its the most unforgettable and tiring camp which i've been true. Oh, and tense too.
But, all this time have not been wasted, when i saw the tears of our teammates at the end of the debrief.
Our tears just flowed out the moment coach told the seniors to stop acting, and give us a big hug.
I dont know why, but the tears just flowed.
Yes gusto, i know we are all tired from this camp.
Especially yesterday, we had like 11 hrs of training i think, i counted, yes its really tiring, and also with all the problems we faced.
But we endure through it didnt we?
Alright, so im sure we'll be able to work better as a team, improve our team spirit.
And also really thanks to all gusto peeps, yes all gusto peeps, no seniors or juniors, we are all from gusto, thanks to everyone, we are all able to learn so much within this 3 days.
Okay but but, something bad happen ):
I fell down again, and injured the same spot which i injured the previous time.
Okay i mean i fell down lots of times, its from stunts, not jogging, alright but sadly, i fell down from the stunt and my knee landed on the floor.
Apparently the wound didnt fully recover and it split open.
So now its quite painful, yes but i endured, i still did stunts.
Oooohhh but i didnt do well for my routine, my chair wasnt up, and i step out of the maps omg ):
Okay, i learnt my mistake, i was too nervous, didnt get the timing right, next time i'll do a better job, and i know i can! :D
Yupp thats about it, bye!
I just came back from camp not too long ago, just had my "dinner" which is like supper.
Alright, my eyes are about to close, but my hair isnt dry, so after blogging, i'll just off my laptop, lie on bed, this time it wont take 1-2 hrs for me to slp, i think within 5 mins i can fall asleep.
Okay so about camp, i'll just make it a short one, coz everything that happens can just link to a few main points that i wanted to talk about.
This camp is tiring, really super tiring, my body is aching everywhere, but, i didnt regret coming though, coz i really learn and experience alot.
Not just on stunts, true we learn alot of new stunts, but about what is a team.
More about what is gusto, and im sure everyone benefited from that.
This camp is really unforgettable, i guess its the most unforgettable and tiring camp which i've been true. Oh, and tense too.
But, all this time have not been wasted, when i saw the tears of our teammates at the end of the debrief.
Our tears just flowed out the moment coach told the seniors to stop acting, and give us a big hug.
I dont know why, but the tears just flowed.
Yes gusto, i know we are all tired from this camp.
Especially yesterday, we had like 11 hrs of training i think, i counted, yes its really tiring, and also with all the problems we faced.
But we endure through it didnt we?
Alright, so im sure we'll be able to work better as a team, improve our team spirit.
And also really thanks to all gusto peeps, yes all gusto peeps, no seniors or juniors, we are all from gusto, thanks to everyone, we are all able to learn so much within this 3 days.
Okay but but, something bad happen ):
I fell down again, and injured the same spot which i injured the previous time.
Okay i mean i fell down lots of times, its from stunts, not jogging, alright but sadly, i fell down from the stunt and my knee landed on the floor.
Apparently the wound didnt fully recover and it split open.
So now its quite painful, yes but i endured, i still did stunts.
Oooohhh but i didnt do well for my routine, my chair wasnt up, and i step out of the maps omg ):
Okay, i learnt my mistake, i was too nervous, didnt get the timing right, next time i'll do a better job, and i know i can! :D
Yupp thats about it, bye!
September 16, 2010
It wont make a difference,
My current mood now: Bored
Yeah i know i've been compaining how bored i am.
And i seriously am.
Today afternoon, i was so bored that i went out alone to buy lunch back home.
Okay, not a big deal though.
But i dont normally like to go out to buy something alone, even if im having lunch, i will have lunch with someone.
But but but, im seriously bored of staying at home, facing the laptop, surfing the net, using fb.
Okay alright, enough of all these.
My main point is, there's camp tml.
Sighhh actually i really love camps alot, if only i can have much more time to bath, and if i dont need to rush here and there, run everywhere, it will be better.
Okay but anyway, idk why this time round i really dont have the mood to go.
And whats more, im having muscle aches right now, which is really bad.
Idk how im gonna train arrhhhh.
Okay nvm, endure, since i've endured for so long, this isnt a problem to me right?
Booooohooooo but the sad thing is, i cant go ctss mid autumn sighhhh...
Last year they dont have it, this year they have it and i cant go ):
Okay enough of all these, whatever it is, i still have to go for my camp.
Alright, i have not start packing my stuff yet, i'll pack it later on, i dont want to do it last min tml.
Goodbye, i'll blog after camp, and i'll complain about how tired i am ):
Yeah i know i've been compaining how bored i am.
And i seriously am.
Today afternoon, i was so bored that i went out alone to buy lunch back home.
Okay, not a big deal though.
But i dont normally like to go out to buy something alone, even if im having lunch, i will have lunch with someone.
But but but, im seriously bored of staying at home, facing the laptop, surfing the net, using fb.
Okay alright, enough of all these.
My main point is, there's camp tml.
Sighhh actually i really love camps alot, if only i can have much more time to bath, and if i dont need to rush here and there, run everywhere, it will be better.
Okay but anyway, idk why this time round i really dont have the mood to go.
And whats more, im having muscle aches right now, which is really bad.
Idk how im gonna train arrhhhh.
Okay nvm, endure, since i've endured for so long, this isnt a problem to me right?
Booooohooooo but the sad thing is, i cant go ctss mid autumn sighhhh...
Last year they dont have it, this year they have it and i cant go ):
Okay enough of all these, whatever it is, i still have to go for my camp.
Alright, i have not start packing my stuff yet, i'll pack it later on, i dont want to do it last min tml.
Goodbye, i'll blog after camp, and i'll complain about how tired i am ):
September 15, 2010
Perfectly imperfect,
Okay, i've changed the theme of my blog coz i've received complaints, no i mean a complaint that the pinkness of my previous blogskin is too bright.
Okay fine, haha well anw i've got nothing to do, so i just spend some time editing it.
Oh gosh someone save me please, im really bored at home.
Sighhhh and im too broke to go out ):
Booooohooooooo.....
Yeah although hols is boring, but i rather have hols than exams.
Haha, seeing others whose exams are not over, i feel so lucky as compared to them.
At least if i have nothing to do at home, i can just sleep.
But they still have to study and study.
Ohhhhh... i want to go out shopping!
Money please fall from the sky!
Yeah its impossible i know, so i should be more practical, look for a job instead.
Sighhh but idk how to look for a job, there's definitely gonna be cca during the hols, prob on tue and thu?
So in a week, i cant work for two days?
Which job allows me to do that?
Yeah if im lucky i may be able to find.
And anw, i think i've decided to change to blackberry.
I hope i wont be fickle minded again, i dont want to change my decision.
Yeah thats about it, i seriously got nothing to blog about but im really too bored ):
Ending with a little webcam,
life's too boring without pictures.
Okay fine, haha well anw i've got nothing to do, so i just spend some time editing it.
Oh gosh someone save me please, im really bored at home.
Sighhhh and im too broke to go out ):
Booooohooooooo.....
Yeah although hols is boring, but i rather have hols than exams.
Haha, seeing others whose exams are not over, i feel so lucky as compared to them.
At least if i have nothing to do at home, i can just sleep.
But they still have to study and study.
Ohhhhh... i want to go out shopping!
Money please fall from the sky!
Yeah its impossible i know, so i should be more practical, look for a job instead.
Sighhh but idk how to look for a job, there's definitely gonna be cca during the hols, prob on tue and thu?
So in a week, i cant work for two days?
Which job allows me to do that?
Yeah if im lucky i may be able to find.
And anw, i think i've decided to change to blackberry.
I hope i wont be fickle minded again, i dont want to change my decision.
Yeah thats about it, i seriously got nothing to blog about but im really too bored ):
Ending with a little webcam,
life's too boring without pictures.
September 14, 2010
Just let me do it,
Im sorry, im gonna vent all my frustration and anger here.
I really dont know what to do, and im freaking pissed off with myself.
Wth, i tried my standing broad jump just now, and i swear i did at least 20 or 30 times.
But what shit, there isnt even one time when i can reach the target.
You cant imagine how angry i was just now.
No matter how hard i try, i still cant get it.
I told myself to use all my strength, and just give it a good one, but no, still never.
Worse still, when i the distance gets shorter and shorter.
AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Im just so super frustrated coz i've been trying for really long, not just for today, but since dont know how many wks ago, and after my ankle recovered.
But no, i didnt even jump over 170 for once, just this once.
I jumped till my feet hurts badly, but no not even for once.
Yeah all of you must have been wondering why the hell this is so important, and why the hell am i always getting so frustrated and stressed out coz of this fking standing broad jump.
I know this isnt the first time i've mentioned about the standing broad jump, at least a few times.
Yeah its v important to me, in fact this napfa test is really important to me.
Coz i dontwant to pt and pt for the whole month.
When i was in sec sch, i cant do well for standing broad jump too.
Even if i did well for other stations, i cant obtain my gold coz my standing broad jump can never get a freaking C.
Yeah, so i gave up, at that time, i was like thinking...
Its good if i can achieve my gold, but if i cant, then thats too bad.
But now, no its not the same.
I WANT TO AND NEED TO GET A C FOR STANDING BROAD JUMP.
OMG IM REALLY SUPER TIRED WITH THIS.
At first im having lots of confidence with myself, i keep on saying I CAN, I CAN AND I CAN DO IT!
But seriously, i just dont see myself doing it.
Im not losing confidence, but im really tired...
I need help, i really do.
Its no point even if i do so well for other stations but just fail at this stupid ass station.
Gosh, i really feel so useless after so many attempt.
But i doubt you guys know how important this test is to me.
I really dont wanna get a D for any stations.
Yet when mum see me jumping so many times and fail, she told me fail then fail lah, why jump so many times and injured myself. if i really dont have the ability then dont stay in gusto lah.
Oh gosh, she really dont understand, dont understand that i really love gusto, dont understand that this napfa is really important to me.
Its not only about pt, but at least through this test, i want the results to prove to me that my efforts for the past few months in gusto have not been wasted.
:(
I really dont know what to do, and im freaking pissed off with myself.
Wth, i tried my standing broad jump just now, and i swear i did at least 20 or 30 times.
But what shit, there isnt even one time when i can reach the target.
You cant imagine how angry i was just now.
No matter how hard i try, i still cant get it.
I told myself to use all my strength, and just give it a good one, but no, still never.
Worse still, when i the distance gets shorter and shorter.
AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Im just so super frustrated coz i've been trying for really long, not just for today, but since dont know how many wks ago, and after my ankle recovered.
But no, i didnt even jump over 170 for once, just this once.
I jumped till my feet hurts badly, but no not even for once.
Yeah all of you must have been wondering why the hell this is so important, and why the hell am i always getting so frustrated and stressed out coz of this fking standing broad jump.
I know this isnt the first time i've mentioned about the standing broad jump, at least a few times.
Yeah its v important to me, in fact this napfa test is really important to me.
Coz i dontwant to pt and pt for the whole month.
When i was in sec sch, i cant do well for standing broad jump too.
Even if i did well for other stations, i cant obtain my gold coz my standing broad jump can never get a freaking C.
Yeah, so i gave up, at that time, i was like thinking...
Its good if i can achieve my gold, but if i cant, then thats too bad.
But now, no its not the same.
I WANT TO AND NEED TO GET A C FOR STANDING BROAD JUMP.
OMG IM REALLY SUPER TIRED WITH THIS.
At first im having lots of confidence with myself, i keep on saying I CAN, I CAN AND I CAN DO IT!
But seriously, i just dont see myself doing it.
Im not losing confidence, but im really tired...
I need help, i really do.
Its no point even if i do so well for other stations but just fail at this stupid ass station.
Gosh, i really feel so useless after so many attempt.
But i doubt you guys know how important this test is to me.
I really dont wanna get a D for any stations.
Yet when mum see me jumping so many times and fail, she told me fail then fail lah, why jump so many times and injured myself. if i really dont have the ability then dont stay in gusto lah.
Oh gosh, she really dont understand, dont understand that i really love gusto, dont understand that this napfa is really important to me.
Its not only about pt, but at least through this test, i want the results to prove to me that my efforts for the past few months in gusto have not been wasted.
:(
September 13, 2010
Memories are the nicest part of life...
Was rather bored just now, so i actually went to my shoutmix account, which is my tagboard, and read through all the tags again...
Yeah im really super bored thats why i did it, i went to read through those entries which i posted 2 years ago?
It brings back lots of memories, when i read through all those..
In the past, I always blog about how's school and the lessons i had on that day/week.
I would be talking about test, exams, how i screw up my tests and blah blah blah...
Talking about who bullied or make fun of me during lessons.
And when i read through the tags, they are so super funny, the way we make fun of each other...
Yeah, though i removed my tagboard from my blog, i didnt delete the account.
All these memories are the best part of life.
Sigghh, do you all know why i remove the tagboard from my blog?
Coz i realized there's many silent readers, and even with the tagboard, some ppl wouldnt tag, so why should i have it there and make my tagboard seemed so dead?
Well, i mean its such a waste of space, since the purpose of a blog is just to let others read, and no one says that when you blog, ppl must tag, so i shall just let others read, and dont make it compulsory for them to tag.
Okay, im not blaming silent readers, and im not saying they are at the wrong.
No offence, im not pointing my fingers at anyone.
Okay, i guess there's always a reason why silent readers dont tag.
Some people might not know you well, but they are just curious or have nothing to do, so they read your blog, but they dont want to tag since they are not close to you.
Some people just want to remain silent, not that they want to stalk you.
Okay yeah, i dont blame them, coz i am a silent reader for some ppl's blog too.
And i know why i silent read, coz sometimes idk what i should tag, and sometimes i feel that its weird to tag.
Yes its okay, im alright with silent readers reading my blog, but i will appreciate if you could at least leave me a comment.
Well, but maybe one day i will consider putting the tagboard up again?
Perhaps when people feel like tagging, they will.
:D
Yeah im really super bored thats why i did it, i went to read through those entries which i posted 2 years ago?
It brings back lots of memories, when i read through all those..
In the past, I always blog about how's school and the lessons i had on that day/week.
I would be talking about test, exams, how i screw up my tests and blah blah blah...
Talking about who bullied or make fun of me during lessons.
And when i read through the tags, they are so super funny, the way we make fun of each other...
Yeah, though i removed my tagboard from my blog, i didnt delete the account.
All these memories are the best part of life.
Sigghh, do you all know why i remove the tagboard from my blog?
Coz i realized there's many silent readers, and even with the tagboard, some ppl wouldnt tag, so why should i have it there and make my tagboard seemed so dead?
Well, i mean its such a waste of space, since the purpose of a blog is just to let others read, and no one says that when you blog, ppl must tag, so i shall just let others read, and dont make it compulsory for them to tag.
Okay, im not blaming silent readers, and im not saying they are at the wrong.
No offence, im not pointing my fingers at anyone.
Okay, i guess there's always a reason why silent readers dont tag.
Some people might not know you well, but they are just curious or have nothing to do, so they read your blog, but they dont want to tag since they are not close to you.
Some people just want to remain silent, not that they want to stalk you.
Okay yeah, i dont blame them, coz i am a silent reader for some ppl's blog too.
And i know why i silent read, coz sometimes idk what i should tag, and sometimes i feel that its weird to tag.
Yes its okay, im alright with silent readers reading my blog, but i will appreciate if you could at least leave me a comment.
Well, but maybe one day i will consider putting the tagboard up again?
Perhaps when people feel like tagging, they will.
:D
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