Just let me do it,

Im sorry, im gonna vent all my frustration and anger here.
I really dont know what to do, and im freaking pissed off with myself.
Wth, i tried my standing broad jump just now, and i swear i did at least 20 or 30 times.
But what shit, there isnt even one time when i can reach the target.
You cant imagine how angry i was just now.
No matter how hard i try, i still cant get it.
I told myself to use all my strength, and just give it a good one, but no, still never.
Worse still, when i the distance gets shorter and shorter.
AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Im just so super frustrated coz i've been trying for really long, not just for today, but since dont know how many wks ago, and after my ankle recovered.
But no, i didnt even jump over 170 for once, just this once.
I jumped till my feet hurts badly, but no not even for once.
Yeah all of you must have been wondering why the hell this is so important, and why the hell am i always getting so frustrated and stressed out coz of this fking standing broad jump.
I know this isnt the first time i've mentioned about the standing broad jump, at least a few times.
Yeah its v important to me, in fact this napfa test is really important to me.
Coz i dontwant to pt and pt for the whole month.
When i was in sec sch, i cant do well for standing broad jump too.
Even if i did well for other stations, i cant obtain my gold coz my standing broad jump can never get a freaking C.
Yeah, so i gave up, at that time, i was like thinking...
Its good if i can achieve my gold, but if i cant, then thats too bad.
But now, no its not the same.
I WANT TO AND NEED TO GET A C FOR STANDING BROAD JUMP.
OMG IM REALLY SUPER TIRED WITH THIS.
At first im having lots of confidence with myself, i keep on saying I CAN, I CAN AND I CAN DO IT!
But seriously, i just dont see myself doing it.
Im not losing confidence, but im really tired...
I need help, i really do.
Its no point even if i do so well for other stations but just fail at this stupid ass station.
Gosh, i really feel so useless after so many attempt.
But i doubt you guys know how important this test is to me.
I really dont wanna get a D for any stations.
Yet when mum see me jumping so many times and fail, she told me fail then fail lah, why jump so many times and injured myself. if i really dont have the ability then dont stay in gusto lah.
Oh gosh, she really dont understand, dont understand that i really love gusto, dont understand that this napfa is really important to me.
Its not only about pt, but at least through this test, i want the results to prove to me that my efforts for the past few months in gusto have not been wasted.
:(