I shouldnt be asking for more,
you've done much more than what you're suppose to.
In fact, there's no need for you to help me with all these, i know.
No obligations, but you still tried to.
So over here, i shouldnt be so selfish anymore
July 31, 2011
Today was a bad and good day.
Today(Yesterday, since after 12) was a bad and good day.
Bad, i started with such a moody day, everything was in a mess, i was in school, i walked away alone, sat at a staircase in the middle of nowhere, and was blogging with my phone, trying to type out all the unhappiness i had.
Apparently just before i wanted to post it, idk what happen, i just didnt manage to post it. Well, im not gonna retype everything out since its all over.
But whatever it is, i was just saying i hate to do some things, and yet im always doing them. Humans are such complicating creatures, and sometimes we dont really understand what we want.
Anw, this week has been quite a terrible week for me, im so tired from projects, i've received a heartbreaking news. Idk if heartbreaking is the right word to be used, maybe its a little exaggerating, but well, it was kind of heartbreaking when i received it.
So u are gonna ask, what is it right? Fine, i'll say, i didnt manage to get the rws scholarship, the third scholarship which i've applied.
Maybe its not a big deal, yeah in fact this time round, i wasnt really keen on taking it up, coz i kinda decided i wanted to go to disney for itp.
But it was such a disappointment, 3 times, all failed.
To me, it just shows how useless i am. Its a disappointment to know that u didnt even stand a chance. When others can get it so easily, why not me?
Well, but i understand whats over is over, and anw just for your info, thats not the thing which affects my day.
Its basically coz of projects, and this time round, more reasons to it.
Its a good day, coz at least, i felt that some ppl were around to help me.
I know, perhaps its quite limited to what they can do, but they did try. I was feeling so down all along, and they did cheer me up, in some way or another.
I appreciated it, and thank you people.
I just hope next week gonna be over soon, im already anticipating the week to be a horrible one, really.
Bad, i started with such a moody day, everything was in a mess, i was in school, i walked away alone, sat at a staircase in the middle of nowhere, and was blogging with my phone, trying to type out all the unhappiness i had.
Apparently just before i wanted to post it, idk what happen, i just didnt manage to post it. Well, im not gonna retype everything out since its all over.
But whatever it is, i was just saying i hate to do some things, and yet im always doing them. Humans are such complicating creatures, and sometimes we dont really understand what we want.
Anw, this week has been quite a terrible week for me, im so tired from projects, i've received a heartbreaking news. Idk if heartbreaking is the right word to be used, maybe its a little exaggerating, but well, it was kind of heartbreaking when i received it.
So u are gonna ask, what is it right? Fine, i'll say, i didnt manage to get the rws scholarship, the third scholarship which i've applied.
Maybe its not a big deal, yeah in fact this time round, i wasnt really keen on taking it up, coz i kinda decided i wanted to go to disney for itp.
But it was such a disappointment, 3 times, all failed.
To me, it just shows how useless i am. Its a disappointment to know that u didnt even stand a chance. When others can get it so easily, why not me?
Well, but i understand whats over is over, and anw just for your info, thats not the thing which affects my day.
Its basically coz of projects, and this time round, more reasons to it.
Its a good day, coz at least, i felt that some ppl were around to help me.
I know, perhaps its quite limited to what they can do, but they did try. I was feeling so down all along, and they did cheer me up, in some way or another.
I appreciated it, and thank you people.
I just hope next week gonna be over soon, im already anticipating the week to be a horrible one, really.
July 24, 2011
A hectic week.
Just a short update and i'll go to bed.
This week/ weeks gonna be hell for me.
I've got my last 2 major projects to do, and after that, i guess i'll feel much more relieve.
Well, there are still some other projects, but those arent that difficult to do, i think i can still manage.
But for this week, i definitely have to rush like mad, i've got one project due on wed, and still rushing to finish. Another one due next mon, but i've to finish up my wed first before i can start rushing for the mon one.
Not that i wanna do things last minute, in fact i never like to do last minute work.
But i was really busy the week before coz i had to go for a cheerleading workshop and my whole weekend was taken up. And i also had quite a few trainings coz we had to prepare for an upcoming performance this wed.
Yeap, the past few weeks and definitely, the next few weeks, are really crazy.
I hope everything's gonna be over soon, once over, i'll have to start preparing for tests/exams and all those things.
Well, i hope all our efforts wouldnt be wasted, especially in doing all these projects. Coz basically, i've got back a few papers of mine, well i did get an A, but it was because the lecturers were all being so lenient, they said our results were bad, and if they werent lenient when marking, all of us will do so badly. So i hope at least these projects gonna help me pull up my grades, hopefully it wont make it worse.
Yup thats about it, i'll blog again when im free, goodnight! :D
This week/ weeks gonna be hell for me.
I've got my last 2 major projects to do, and after that, i guess i'll feel much more relieve.
Well, there are still some other projects, but those arent that difficult to do, i think i can still manage.
But for this week, i definitely have to rush like mad, i've got one project due on wed, and still rushing to finish. Another one due next mon, but i've to finish up my wed first before i can start rushing for the mon one.
Not that i wanna do things last minute, in fact i never like to do last minute work.
But i was really busy the week before coz i had to go for a cheerleading workshop and my whole weekend was taken up. And i also had quite a few trainings coz we had to prepare for an upcoming performance this wed.
Yeap, the past few weeks and definitely, the next few weeks, are really crazy.
I hope everything's gonna be over soon, once over, i'll have to start preparing for tests/exams and all those things.
Well, i hope all our efforts wouldnt be wasted, especially in doing all these projects. Coz basically, i've got back a few papers of mine, well i did get an A, but it was because the lecturers were all being so lenient, they said our results were bad, and if they werent lenient when marking, all of us will do so badly. So i hope at least these projects gonna help me pull up my grades, hopefully it wont make it worse.
Yup thats about it, i'll blog again when im free, goodnight! :D
July 17, 2011
Is it time?
I dont know why im always like this, i want to change, i know i need to change, but i just cant change.
I hate myself for being like this, i dont want to be like this, but what can i do?
Whats the point of helping me when i just wont get anywhere further?
Whats the point of not giving up on me when im always disappointing others?
I know, i've heard every single word others tell me, but i cant do it.
Its not as if i dont understand, not as if it doesnt makes sense to me, but i just cant do it.
Its always easier said than done, you tell people to do something, thinking it was so easy, but no, the person doing it wont find it easy at all.
Im so tired and sick of these repeated problems, and always, i've thought i got over it, or can get over it, but till now, i still find that i cant.
Perhaps some things in life, you can never change, never.
Just like my personality, my mentality towards everything. For those who know me long, do u ppl actually know that i always have a very negative mentality when i do things. Perhaps in the past not so much, but as i've met with more setbacks, i've became more and more negative when it comes to viewing things around me.
I know i shouldnt, but i cant change it. And perhaps, some things, no matter how much effort i've put in, how much i've tried, it doesnt change anything.
I should have told myself not to put any hopes, because i should have known, no one can understand how i feel.
Yes, perhaps u ppl tried to talk to me, and maybe i did, but no, none of u understands.
And i should have known, no one would believe me.
I should have known all these..... And i stupidly thought that by saying some things out, it would make a difference, someone would at least understands and tries to help me.
Yes, i know u tried to help, but u still dont understand how i feel, do you?
I've got many htht this few weeks, whenever im feeling down. Yes, i know whatever others told me makes sense, i know they are trying to help, but i just cant get it into my brain. In fact, those words you people said, i can tell myself the same thing too, but i just cant change.
Im really sick of all these, whenever im feeling so terrible, i'll cry and cry and have all sorts of thoughts running through my mind, i'll feel like a loser, feel like giving up and everything.
But once i've cried finish, after a little while, i'll get back to my normal self, get over those thoughts. But sooner or later, i'll have those problems coming back to me, cry, get over it, then cry, and then get over it.
I mean when is it gonna stop? Do i really have to carry on like this?
Is giving up really my only choice? But i dont want to have any regrets, im afraid of making decisions, because i always made the wrong ones....
And i really hate myself for these, why am i so damn fickle minded? Why do i treat failures so easily? Why cant i manage stress well? Why am i so weak? Why do i have such low confidence with myself? Why am i so pessimistic? WHY WHY WHY?
I've got a homework or assignment, whatever u call that, something which im told to do, but i feel that i can never get it done.
Im needed to write down a few things which i love about myself, and a few things which i hate about myself. A few things which i think i am good at, and a few things which i think im not doing well at.
Seriously, what i hate about myself, and what im not doing well at, i've got a whole list. But i cant complete the part which says what i love about myself, and what im good at.
I think i can never complete this homework of mine. Never. I've spend about one whole week thinking about it, but yet to thought of any.
I know im such a disappointment, which is why, i dont really blame others. Because i know im the one who disappoints them right from the start.
Im fine now, i've wiped my tears and im in my normal self while typing this.
But i know soon enough, i'll end up crying over the same old problems.
Im sorry, really sorry. I know sorry doesnt mean anything if i dont prove to you that im really apologetic, but thats the only thing i can say.
Perhaps its time for a break, and this time round, i really need to give it a serious thought.
Just want to finish all my damn projects, get all these burdens off, maybe by that time, i'll be calm enough to sort out my thinking.
I hate myself for being like this, i dont want to be like this, but what can i do?
Whats the point of helping me when i just wont get anywhere further?
Whats the point of not giving up on me when im always disappointing others?
I know, i've heard every single word others tell me, but i cant do it.
Its not as if i dont understand, not as if it doesnt makes sense to me, but i just cant do it.
Its always easier said than done, you tell people to do something, thinking it was so easy, but no, the person doing it wont find it easy at all.
Im so tired and sick of these repeated problems, and always, i've thought i got over it, or can get over it, but till now, i still find that i cant.
Perhaps some things in life, you can never change, never.
Just like my personality, my mentality towards everything. For those who know me long, do u ppl actually know that i always have a very negative mentality when i do things. Perhaps in the past not so much, but as i've met with more setbacks, i've became more and more negative when it comes to viewing things around me.
I know i shouldnt, but i cant change it. And perhaps, some things, no matter how much effort i've put in, how much i've tried, it doesnt change anything.
I should have told myself not to put any hopes, because i should have known, no one can understand how i feel.
Yes, perhaps u ppl tried to talk to me, and maybe i did, but no, none of u understands.
And i should have known, no one would believe me.
I should have known all these..... And i stupidly thought that by saying some things out, it would make a difference, someone would at least understands and tries to help me.
Yes, i know u tried to help, but u still dont understand how i feel, do you?
I've got many htht this few weeks, whenever im feeling down. Yes, i know whatever others told me makes sense, i know they are trying to help, but i just cant get it into my brain. In fact, those words you people said, i can tell myself the same thing too, but i just cant change.
Im really sick of all these, whenever im feeling so terrible, i'll cry and cry and have all sorts of thoughts running through my mind, i'll feel like a loser, feel like giving up and everything.
But once i've cried finish, after a little while, i'll get back to my normal self, get over those thoughts. But sooner or later, i'll have those problems coming back to me, cry, get over it, then cry, and then get over it.
I mean when is it gonna stop? Do i really have to carry on like this?
Is giving up really my only choice? But i dont want to have any regrets, im afraid of making decisions, because i always made the wrong ones....
And i really hate myself for these, why am i so damn fickle minded? Why do i treat failures so easily? Why cant i manage stress well? Why am i so weak? Why do i have such low confidence with myself? Why am i so pessimistic? WHY WHY WHY?
I've got a homework or assignment, whatever u call that, something which im told to do, but i feel that i can never get it done.
Im needed to write down a few things which i love about myself, and a few things which i hate about myself. A few things which i think i am good at, and a few things which i think im not doing well at.
Seriously, what i hate about myself, and what im not doing well at, i've got a whole list. But i cant complete the part which says what i love about myself, and what im good at.
I think i can never complete this homework of mine. Never. I've spend about one whole week thinking about it, but yet to thought of any.
I know im such a disappointment, which is why, i dont really blame others. Because i know im the one who disappoints them right from the start.
Im fine now, i've wiped my tears and im in my normal self while typing this.
But i know soon enough, i'll end up crying over the same old problems.
Im sorry, really sorry. I know sorry doesnt mean anything if i dont prove to you that im really apologetic, but thats the only thing i can say.
Perhaps its time for a break, and this time round, i really need to give it a serious thought.
Just want to finish all my damn projects, get all these burdens off, maybe by that time, i'll be calm enough to sort out my thinking.
July 9, 2011
Three words, i always hear them.
Firstly before i start on anything, just a warning, this post is full of my ranting, grumbling and everything else. Skip it if u are sick and tired of seeing all these from my blog, yeah i've warned you ppl, so dont read it if u hate to see all these coming from me.
I hate life, hate it for being so freaking hell unfair.
HATE HATE HATE.
NO I MEAN I HATE MY LIFE.
I dont understand, why some ppl can be so lucky, they were granted everything, really everything. No efforts, have results. No one criticizes them for being lazy, as long as they showed some kind of results at the end of the day.
But ppl like me, freaking hell unlucky, granted nothing, really nothing. Put in efforts, no results. Ppl criticizes for being stupid, dumb, lazy, whatever all sorts of things they have to say.
Yeah this is what i call unfair.
Doing so many things with so little manpower, no matter how much i do, its never enough, coz my stupid brain just cant work out.
And others? A whole lot of manpower helping them, in the end, what have i got? And this is what i call unfair, people thinking for themselves, doesnt spare a thought for others, in the end coz they were so lucky, managed to get away with everything, much lesser efforts compared to me, yet they got so much more.
Simple example, my dip plus, i've got back my results. Totally a disappointment, freaking hell lousy results. Yes, i've expected it, but still, when i saw the marks, you wouldnt be able to understand the kind of disappointment i felt. Studied for it, studied much more than others, in the end, got a freaking hell C for it. Yeah almost a D in fact. Another module, had some kind of debate, did so much research, practise so much for it, and in the end? B for that, wasnt even one of the better ones in my class. Total shit, and seriously, i bet the other papers from my mst are not gonna be any better.
Not just for studies, in many other aspects.
I often asked myself this, why am i doing so much, putting in so much effort, when i didnt even get anything in return, and others didnt even know. I ended up making myself feel so damn disappointed, getting myself so hurt. Yeah true, perhaps u will say, if i put in efforts, i didnt produce good results, and if i didnt put in efforts at all, its gonna be so screwed up for everything. Yeah but at least i can tell myself, i didnt do anything, so when i dont get back anything, there's no disappointment at all.
Tell me how im gonna get my life back on track. Im feeling so fcked up with everything, already im here struggling with work and all other stuff. And still when i think of how unfair life is to me, im really that tired to continue on with everything.
And that day i was doing my project, i was so sick and tired of clearing up all the mess for ppl who are so freaking hell irresponsible, till the extend when i thought, should i just give up? Just be like them, not do anything, and not care about studies anymore, not care about my gpa or whatever shit. Just gonna live life as the way it is.
But can i? I've been complaining how unfair life have been to me, which is why im striving hard, coz i want to see a change. I want everything else to be different in the years to come. And if i've gave up here, what about my future?
You see, coz there's ppl who are so lucky in life, they mess around with mine, created so much trouble for me. But really, im not as lucky as them, those shit they left behind, i've got to clear it for them. Are my efforts recognized? Seen by others? NO.
I dont mind doing things, as long as its worth my efforts. Im not trying to claim any credit, i dont need others to praise me for what i've done. But i just hate it, hate it so much when other people thinks that i've done nothing.
Hate it so much, when people dont trust me. Seriously, i dont enjoy doing all these, you dont like what im doing, think im not capable, tell me straight in my face, i'll stop doing everything. Im not trying to blame you here, but its an insult to me, by just letting others do what im supposed to, i mean what are you trying to say? Im incapable? Or im irresponsible? Yeah i admit, perhaps im more stupid as compared to others, perhaps i cant really do a good job. But you cant say i didnt put in my efforts, coz right from the first task i was assigned, i really put in my 100%, if not more. And im starting to think, you said you believe me, really? Or were you just cheering me up, trying to encouraged me? Coz from what i've seen, it doesnt feel as if you believe me, it just feels like i've got no trust from you. Just makes me feel as if im doing such a lousy job you know?
I would say, efforts doesnt guarantee results. You dont reap what you sow.
Yes perhaps in some cases you do, not all. If a person is damn damn stupid, does putting in efforts help? Does it means that person gonna produce a damn good results?
But having said all these, after all my complaints, i know, certain things you ppl would have agreed with me. Life is unfair, fcking unfair. But so what? At the end of it, what ppl tell me was, "Life goes on".
Yes life goes on, no matter how unhappy i am, how much i've got to say, life goes on. Does saying all these actually makes my life fair? Definitely not, but at least, it makes me feel better, much better after all my ranting.
Just that right now, im still feeling so tired, i dont know how i am gonna survive finishing all 4 projects. Anyone understands what im going through?NO, because its not just projects, many many more. But you ppl really dont understand, the stress that im having. Yes i admit, i suck at stress management, i treat failures too seriously, and thats why my life is in such a mess.
I hope this semester's gonna be over soon, i need a thorough break from all these projects, from school. Im considering if i should go to disney in orlando for my third year itp, its gonna be six months in usa, away from singapore. I wasnt quite interested when i was in year one, but suddenly had the interest to. Yeah its gonna be six months, not very long, but not too short either. But perhaps, leaving singapore for a while, putting my studies aside, and just going there for itp and some kind of experience gonna make myself feels better? At least i wont get so stressful there. But well, still considering though, coz i had a scholarship interview with RWS next week, and if i got it, i had to do itp there. So lets see how it goes.
Right now, i just wish i could finish all my projects up, settle things which i've to settle. Thats all, dont want to make life so difficult for myself.
Yeah, i've come to the end of my ranting, im sure ppl reading have got themselves so bored for reading such a long post of all my complaints.
But ppl, im fine, to those who are concerned, i've yet to give up on myself, coz like what i've said, i dont want to ruin my future. But still, i need a htht. Need one badly :( But still, i doubt others can understand what im trying to tell them.
Yeah thats all, im going to bed, still have training tml. (Ps, im damn tired, i had 5 trainings this week, really tired, got a very big bruise on my knee from training too)
Okay going to bed soon, goodnight and bye.
I hate life, hate it for being so freaking hell unfair.
HATE HATE HATE.
NO I MEAN I HATE MY LIFE.
I dont understand, why some ppl can be so lucky, they were granted everything, really everything. No efforts, have results. No one criticizes them for being lazy, as long as they showed some kind of results at the end of the day.
But ppl like me, freaking hell unlucky, granted nothing, really nothing. Put in efforts, no results. Ppl criticizes for being stupid, dumb, lazy, whatever all sorts of things they have to say.
Yeah this is what i call unfair.
Doing so many things with so little manpower, no matter how much i do, its never enough, coz my stupid brain just cant work out.
And others? A whole lot of manpower helping them, in the end, what have i got? And this is what i call unfair, people thinking for themselves, doesnt spare a thought for others, in the end coz they were so lucky, managed to get away with everything, much lesser efforts compared to me, yet they got so much more.
Simple example, my dip plus, i've got back my results. Totally a disappointment, freaking hell lousy results. Yes, i've expected it, but still, when i saw the marks, you wouldnt be able to understand the kind of disappointment i felt. Studied for it, studied much more than others, in the end, got a freaking hell C for it. Yeah almost a D in fact. Another module, had some kind of debate, did so much research, practise so much for it, and in the end? B for that, wasnt even one of the better ones in my class. Total shit, and seriously, i bet the other papers from my mst are not gonna be any better.
Not just for studies, in many other aspects.
I often asked myself this, why am i doing so much, putting in so much effort, when i didnt even get anything in return, and others didnt even know. I ended up making myself feel so damn disappointed, getting myself so hurt. Yeah true, perhaps u will say, if i put in efforts, i didnt produce good results, and if i didnt put in efforts at all, its gonna be so screwed up for everything. Yeah but at least i can tell myself, i didnt do anything, so when i dont get back anything, there's no disappointment at all.
Tell me how im gonna get my life back on track. Im feeling so fcked up with everything, already im here struggling with work and all other stuff. And still when i think of how unfair life is to me, im really that tired to continue on with everything.
And that day i was doing my project, i was so sick and tired of clearing up all the mess for ppl who are so freaking hell irresponsible, till the extend when i thought, should i just give up? Just be like them, not do anything, and not care about studies anymore, not care about my gpa or whatever shit. Just gonna live life as the way it is.
But can i? I've been complaining how unfair life have been to me, which is why im striving hard, coz i want to see a change. I want everything else to be different in the years to come. And if i've gave up here, what about my future?
You see, coz there's ppl who are so lucky in life, they mess around with mine, created so much trouble for me. But really, im not as lucky as them, those shit they left behind, i've got to clear it for them. Are my efforts recognized? Seen by others? NO.
I dont mind doing things, as long as its worth my efforts. Im not trying to claim any credit, i dont need others to praise me for what i've done. But i just hate it, hate it so much when other people thinks that i've done nothing.
Hate it so much, when people dont trust me. Seriously, i dont enjoy doing all these, you dont like what im doing, think im not capable, tell me straight in my face, i'll stop doing everything. Im not trying to blame you here, but its an insult to me, by just letting others do what im supposed to, i mean what are you trying to say? Im incapable? Or im irresponsible? Yeah i admit, perhaps im more stupid as compared to others, perhaps i cant really do a good job. But you cant say i didnt put in my efforts, coz right from the first task i was assigned, i really put in my 100%, if not more. And im starting to think, you said you believe me, really? Or were you just cheering me up, trying to encouraged me? Coz from what i've seen, it doesnt feel as if you believe me, it just feels like i've got no trust from you. Just makes me feel as if im doing such a lousy job you know?
I would say, efforts doesnt guarantee results. You dont reap what you sow.
Yes perhaps in some cases you do, not all. If a person is damn damn stupid, does putting in efforts help? Does it means that person gonna produce a damn good results?
But having said all these, after all my complaints, i know, certain things you ppl would have agreed with me. Life is unfair, fcking unfair. But so what? At the end of it, what ppl tell me was, "Life goes on".
Yes life goes on, no matter how unhappy i am, how much i've got to say, life goes on. Does saying all these actually makes my life fair? Definitely not, but at least, it makes me feel better, much better after all my ranting.
Just that right now, im still feeling so tired, i dont know how i am gonna survive finishing all 4 projects. Anyone understands what im going through?NO, because its not just projects, many many more. But you ppl really dont understand, the stress that im having. Yes i admit, i suck at stress management, i treat failures too seriously, and thats why my life is in such a mess.
I hope this semester's gonna be over soon, i need a thorough break from all these projects, from school. Im considering if i should go to disney in orlando for my third year itp, its gonna be six months in usa, away from singapore. I wasnt quite interested when i was in year one, but suddenly had the interest to. Yeah its gonna be six months, not very long, but not too short either. But perhaps, leaving singapore for a while, putting my studies aside, and just going there for itp and some kind of experience gonna make myself feels better? At least i wont get so stressful there. But well, still considering though, coz i had a scholarship interview with RWS next week, and if i got it, i had to do itp there. So lets see how it goes.
Right now, i just wish i could finish all my projects up, settle things which i've to settle. Thats all, dont want to make life so difficult for myself.
Yeah, i've come to the end of my ranting, im sure ppl reading have got themselves so bored for reading such a long post of all my complaints.
But ppl, im fine, to those who are concerned, i've yet to give up on myself, coz like what i've said, i dont want to ruin my future. But still, i need a htht. Need one badly :( But still, i doubt others can understand what im trying to tell them.
Yeah thats all, im going to bed, still have training tml. (Ps, im damn tired, i had 5 trainings this week, really tired, got a very big bruise on my knee from training too)
Okay going to bed soon, goodnight and bye.
July 1, 2011
Mixed feelings.
Hi im back! (just a warning, quite a long and wordy post).
Anw, my mst are over today.
Well it totally sucks, i totally screw up every single papers, yes every single one of them. I had 3 papers, and out of this 3, my dip plus was the worst seriously. I lost like at least 30 marks for that paper, i dont know wtf i am doing. Why am i studying and studying for that paper and during the test i just feel as if i didnt study at all? Seriously whats wrong with me, and the damn serious thing is, i dont even feel v worried or v sad about it. If it was me in the past, i bet i'll be crying over it, but this time round, yeah im disappointed, but not very very sad. Why? Omg what am i thinking about seriously.
Well since its over its over, im just gonna buck up next sem, i think im screwing up my year 2, which i dont want to. Hey, i worked damn hard for year 1, i dont want to waste all my efforts. SO PLEASE, WAKE UP GIRL!!!!!
Anw, ended paper today and went for class outing at pasir ris park. Well, was a bbq. I never really liked bbq unless i have people serving me. But apparently bbq is just something which is like a waste of time and erm, idk what to say about it. You waste so much time, you bbq that little bit of food. You only had one or two bbq pits, you have so many people. You pay so much, you ate so little. You ate so little, everything is so fattening. So in conclusion, i dont like bbq. But well, since most of the outings usually are bbq, i dont really have a choice and yeah, i'll still go.
Okay anw, im going out tomorrow for shopping. Sighhh, did i mentioned that i am seriously super duper broke recently. Yeah i know i always mentioned that i am broke but this time round, i really am, really. Everything is in need of money, and idk where to get money from. And when i said everything, i meant those necessary expenses, not my shopping expenses or whatever. Yeah im having such a headache coz i've to squeeze out money from somewhere even though i know im super broke. So when i said im going shopping tml, i meant window shopping alright. So tell me, whats shopping when you have no money? And after shopping, i've got training at night. Alright just in case you are wondering why i have cca on a friday night coz usually mine is on tue, thu and sat, its coz we have a performance on sat, which is what i wanna mentioned about.
Gusto is performing at marina barrage this saturday, for the singapore international water festival, well we arent the main characters for that day though, its the canoeists and dragonboaters i guess. Anyway, if you're free on that day, do come down to show us your support. No harm coming, just take it as a family day to marina barrage! Time flies, last year i was there to be a supporter, supporting my seniors, watching them perform.
This year, i was back there as a performer, for the same event, different routine, different people.
I thank you for the opportunity you gave, because i know you really meant well. Perhaps im not worth it, or i've yet to prove that im worth it, but i know, someday i will. Maybe you wouldnt know how grateful i felt, but it really do matters to me. So thanks alot, really alot. And also, not forgetting the others, thank you.
And the above, is to someone i really thanked. I doubt he will be reading this but anyway, i just want to express it out.
Okay well, and for next week, omg the thought of going back to school for lessons really bores me. Well by right school reopens this week, just that we are still having mst. Isnt it weird to have test after the holidays? It feels so different, and after the tests, back to lessons. Sighhhhh, august please come quickly, coz thats when my long holiday comes. Oh and anw, its 1st july today! Time really flies, july please be a good month alright, although i doubt so because july is the datelines for my projects! :( Gonna rush like mad! So actually, im not really looking forward to july :((
Well that will be all, tomorrow's my only slack day, after tomorrow, need to chiong all the way!
Yup that will be all, update again some other time! Its about 2am, time to sleep, im feeling so tired right now!
Anw, my mst are over today.
Well it totally sucks, i totally screw up every single papers, yes every single one of them. I had 3 papers, and out of this 3, my dip plus was the worst seriously. I lost like at least 30 marks for that paper, i dont know wtf i am doing. Why am i studying and studying for that paper and during the test i just feel as if i didnt study at all? Seriously whats wrong with me, and the damn serious thing is, i dont even feel v worried or v sad about it. If it was me in the past, i bet i'll be crying over it, but this time round, yeah im disappointed, but not very very sad. Why? Omg what am i thinking about seriously.
Well since its over its over, im just gonna buck up next sem, i think im screwing up my year 2, which i dont want to. Hey, i worked damn hard for year 1, i dont want to waste all my efforts. SO PLEASE, WAKE UP GIRL!!!!!
Anw, ended paper today and went for class outing at pasir ris park. Well, was a bbq. I never really liked bbq unless i have people serving me. But apparently bbq is just something which is like a waste of time and erm, idk what to say about it. You waste so much time, you bbq that little bit of food. You only had one or two bbq pits, you have so many people. You pay so much, you ate so little. You ate so little, everything is so fattening. So in conclusion, i dont like bbq. But well, since most of the outings usually are bbq, i dont really have a choice and yeah, i'll still go.
Okay anw, im going out tomorrow for shopping. Sighhh, did i mentioned that i am seriously super duper broke recently. Yeah i know i always mentioned that i am broke but this time round, i really am, really. Everything is in need of money, and idk where to get money from. And when i said everything, i meant those necessary expenses, not my shopping expenses or whatever. Yeah im having such a headache coz i've to squeeze out money from somewhere even though i know im super broke. So when i said im going shopping tml, i meant window shopping alright. So tell me, whats shopping when you have no money? And after shopping, i've got training at night. Alright just in case you are wondering why i have cca on a friday night coz usually mine is on tue, thu and sat, its coz we have a performance on sat, which is what i wanna mentioned about.
Gusto is performing at marina barrage this saturday, for the singapore international water festival, well we arent the main characters for that day though, its the canoeists and dragonboaters i guess. Anyway, if you're free on that day, do come down to show us your support. No harm coming, just take it as a family day to marina barrage! Time flies, last year i was there to be a supporter, supporting my seniors, watching them perform.
This year, i was back there as a performer, for the same event, different routine, different people.
I thank you for the opportunity you gave, because i know you really meant well. Perhaps im not worth it, or i've yet to prove that im worth it, but i know, someday i will. Maybe you wouldnt know how grateful i felt, but it really do matters to me. So thanks alot, really alot. And also, not forgetting the others, thank you.
And the above, is to someone i really thanked. I doubt he will be reading this but anyway, i just want to express it out.
Okay well, and for next week, omg the thought of going back to school for lessons really bores me. Well by right school reopens this week, just that we are still having mst. Isnt it weird to have test after the holidays? It feels so different, and after the tests, back to lessons. Sighhhhh, august please come quickly, coz thats when my long holiday comes. Oh and anw, its 1st july today! Time really flies, july please be a good month alright, although i doubt so because july is the datelines for my projects! :( Gonna rush like mad! So actually, im not really looking forward to july :((
Well that will be all, tomorrow's my only slack day, after tomorrow, need to chiong all the way!
Yup that will be all, update again some other time! Its about 2am, time to sleep, im feeling so tired right now!
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