Hi everyone, haven't been updating this space for quite some time.LOOK AT MY TITLE. FINALLY. YES FINALLY.
Next monday i'm handing in my last two reports of my entire poly life.
And after next next wed, im done with all the presentations and saying goodbye to projects.
Do you know how excited and happy i am?
Well, i can't really describe how much i hated projects. Perhaps everyone hated it, but i'm sure i hated it more than others do.
For my year 1 and 2 of poly life, projects made me suffer so much, to the extent that i hate my entire poly life because of how stressful it is.
I'm counting down on the number of days left for me to clear all the projects.
And then, there comes exams, and then off to america!
I'm feeling really excited about disney, but at the same time, really nervous.
I hate a change of environment because i'm not someone who can strike up a conversation easily with others.
I'm not too interactive unless others take the initiative to talk to me first.
I'm so afraid i won't be able to adapt to their culture there. Gosh, i'm really having mixed feelings noooooowwwww!
But still, i can't wait to go and experience a whole new different life i've never lived for in the 19 years of my life.
People tell me such overseas internship (especially to usa) is an opportunity of a lifetime.
Yes i guess so, and definitely, i'll have to cherish this opportunity and enjoy life to the fullest.
Alright but before that, i'll have to finish the last 1 month of school first. Its actually only 10 days of school, the rest are weekends, and revision week, and exams.
Last 10 days of school, how sad. Even though i hated poly life, i hated the stress, but i can't deny the fact that i'll still miss school when i leave. 3 years, time flies uh. Its like just not too long ago back then in year one when i entered into sp. And now? Year 3 going for itp.
And i'm like thinking, if i don't go to uni, this is the last 10 days of my student's stage. And i won't get the feeling of studying in a school again. How sad.
Alright, but decision for uni, i'll think about it again, not now.
Thats prolly all i wanna talk about, i've tons of pictures in my camera. Too busy last few weeks and didn't have the time to upload, now i'm quite lazy.
July 27, 2012
July 10, 2012
Change
I'm just taking a few mintues of my time to be here to blog about how i feel. I felt kind of terrible today with so much workload now.
My projects are all so screwed up at the moment and i need time, lots and lots of time to settle it. But i definitely know i don't have the luxury of time. Two of my reports are due next week and another two due the following and then one more after that. Datelines are all nearing but i know my projects aren't even up to standards. Gosh, i really don't know what's wrong. I thought we were on the right track, but ended up, we don't even know what direction we were heading towards.
I hate this seriously. I really hate times like this when i feel so helpless. I really wished to do something, but somehow, it feels like whatever i can do is so limited.
I thought i had the best group ever, we were like the best combination. No, i'm not saying anyone of them aren't good. Maybe they all are. I guess the problem lies with me. Such a good group with all the good group members, and it just got screwed up in my hands under my kind of leadership.
I don't know what else to say, i clearly know i haven't been doing enough. But, i really don't know what's enough. I don't know what else can i do to make it enough. I really wanted to do something, but i don't know how.
I seriously hate this kind of feeling. Hate it. There used to be a time when i'm feeling exactly the same. Exactly. And all i can do, is to just let time passsed by and wait till this whole period is over.
And today when i think about some things, i realized i changed. I dont know when i became so bad-tempered. I used to be able to tolerate with things, but i realized, now i blow up over small little things. And i get so impatient. Okay i think poly really changed me. At times like this, i really have lots of regrets coming into poly. The more i think about it, the more regrets i have. Yes poly really changed me. And i don't even know if its in a good or bad way.
Okay, i'm sorry about all the ranting over here. I just feel kind of helpless and i don't know what to do.
I really hate it when there's no one who understands how i feel. Its not just the stress from all the projects, there's more to it. I can't explain, the thing is, when i already feel so stressful and helpless, people don't understand and this is what makes me feel more terrible.
All i ever wanted was for someone to understand what i'm going through. I just need someone to assure me that everything's fine and eventually the whole period will be over.
I'm sorry i've got too many negative thoughts on my mind. I guess i'll get to bed and probably wakes up feeling better tomorrow. Its another long day waiting for me tomorrow. I hope it will be fine.
My projects are all so screwed up at the moment and i need time, lots and lots of time to settle it. But i definitely know i don't have the luxury of time. Two of my reports are due next week and another two due the following and then one more after that. Datelines are all nearing but i know my projects aren't even up to standards. Gosh, i really don't know what's wrong. I thought we were on the right track, but ended up, we don't even know what direction we were heading towards.
I hate this seriously. I really hate times like this when i feel so helpless. I really wished to do something, but somehow, it feels like whatever i can do is so limited.
I thought i had the best group ever, we were like the best combination. No, i'm not saying anyone of them aren't good. Maybe they all are. I guess the problem lies with me. Such a good group with all the good group members, and it just got screwed up in my hands under my kind of leadership.
I don't know what else to say, i clearly know i haven't been doing enough. But, i really don't know what's enough. I don't know what else can i do to make it enough. I really wanted to do something, but i don't know how.
I seriously hate this kind of feeling. Hate it. There used to be a time when i'm feeling exactly the same. Exactly. And all i can do, is to just let time passsed by and wait till this whole period is over.
And today when i think about some things, i realized i changed. I dont know when i became so bad-tempered. I used to be able to tolerate with things, but i realized, now i blow up over small little things. And i get so impatient. Okay i think poly really changed me. At times like this, i really have lots of regrets coming into poly. The more i think about it, the more regrets i have. Yes poly really changed me. And i don't even know if its in a good or bad way.
Okay, i'm sorry about all the ranting over here. I just feel kind of helpless and i don't know what to do.
I really hate it when there's no one who understands how i feel. Its not just the stress from all the projects, there's more to it. I can't explain, the thing is, when i already feel so stressful and helpless, people don't understand and this is what makes me feel more terrible.
All i ever wanted was for someone to understand what i'm going through. I just need someone to assure me that everything's fine and eventually the whole period will be over.
I'm sorry i've got too many negative thoughts on my mind. I guess i'll get to bed and probably wakes up feeling better tomorrow. Its another long day waiting for me tomorrow. I hope it will be fine.
July 6, 2012
Hello, i'm here for a short post before i head to bed. I've got work tomorrow so i can't stay up too late.Just here to blog about my feelings for a short while.
I'm glad this week ended off so quickly, time just passed by so fast. But somehow, i didn't want the week to end either.
Okay fine i don't know why i'm feeling this way.
Coincidence. We met so many times coincidentally. Just when i least expected, and we did met.
Just when i thought perhaps it would be good to have met, we did met.
Okay i pretty much just take it as pure coincidence.
I seriously had a shock of my life yesterday. (Okay maybe i should use the word surprise instead) But well, i guess i'm asking for too much again.
Sometimes i do hate myself for expecting so much. I mean, expectations lead to disappointments and more disappointments. I knew of this long ago and i still don't know why i always expect something.
Greedy. Yes I am. Perhaps its human nature? I don't know... But I've got to change this mindset of mine.
Well, okay that's just what i felt for the entire week.
And another thing...
What would you do if someone who is once close to you met with some kind of trouble (well maybe not very serious, i mean just feeling rather down), but both of you aren't close anymore.
I wished I was of some help... even though i know there's nothing much i can do.
I kinda have this sad feeling, its like you want to do something for them, yet you can't.
Not because i can't, maybe i should say i don't dare to.
I don't dare to approach, don't dare to ask, don't dare to help. But still, i want to...
Alright i know i sound contradicting, and this is me. I'm just always like this. Gosh, i wish i can change, change, change!
But whatever it is, i hope the tough period will be over soon for you. And things will get better, I'm sure for you it will. You can manage it, and you definitely will get through it.
And hoping that for me, it is the same too. May this tough period be over soon. Finish up all the projects and i'll be freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Alright, i guess i'm heading to bed really soon.
Goodbye, goodnight and seeyou soon! :D
I'm glad this week ended off so quickly, time just passed by so fast. But somehow, i didn't want the week to end either.
Okay fine i don't know why i'm feeling this way.
Coincidence. We met so many times coincidentally. Just when i least expected, and we did met.
Just when i thought perhaps it would be good to have met, we did met.
Okay i pretty much just take it as pure coincidence.
I seriously had a shock of my life yesterday. (Okay maybe i should use the word surprise instead) But well, i guess i'm asking for too much again.
Sometimes i do hate myself for expecting so much. I mean, expectations lead to disappointments and more disappointments. I knew of this long ago and i still don't know why i always expect something.
Greedy. Yes I am. Perhaps its human nature? I don't know... But I've got to change this mindset of mine.
Well, okay that's just what i felt for the entire week.
And another thing...
What would you do if someone who is once close to you met with some kind of trouble (well maybe not very serious, i mean just feeling rather down), but both of you aren't close anymore.
I wished I was of some help... even though i know there's nothing much i can do.
I kinda have this sad feeling, its like you want to do something for them, yet you can't.
Not because i can't, maybe i should say i don't dare to.
I don't dare to approach, don't dare to ask, don't dare to help. But still, i want to...
Alright i know i sound contradicting, and this is me. I'm just always like this. Gosh, i wish i can change, change, change!
But whatever it is, i hope the tough period will be over soon for you. And things will get better, I'm sure for you it will. You can manage it, and you definitely will get through it.
And hoping that for me, it is the same too. May this tough period be over soon. Finish up all the projects and i'll be freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Alright, i guess i'm heading to bed really soon.
Goodbye, goodnight and seeyou soon! :D
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