Feeling so frustrated with myself. I wished, i could get rid of all those negative thoughts.
I've told myself, many people told me, its alright. Sometimes i manage to convince myself, its fine, move on.
But everytime, i'll get stuck with the same problem. Its always back to the same problem. And thats when everything unhappy happens.
I know, i've lost. I didnt manage to get over this issue. Though i did try, for a year, the past one year, i tried to, but till now, i didnt.
Its difficult, so difficult to hold back the tears. Whenever others ask me why, i have to shake my head and say im fine. I have to stop those tears from falling. I know people are sick and tired of seeing me emo, i am too. I want to stop feeling unhappy about this, i want to smile, laugh, go crazy with them everytime. But why? Why did it have to end off like that?
Im thankful to those who cared for me. But, do they really understand how it feels? Sometimes it easy to say, its easy to tell people what to do. But when you are in the situation yourself, you wont find it so easy. I mean everyone knows it right? Tonight, i'll wipe my tears, i will be fine when i wake up tomorrow. But still, i know, this problem still exists. Its not solved, i know no one can help me, except for myself. I have to let go of whats holding me, and move on. But its not easy. Everytime i wipe my tears and tell myself its alright, i'll really wake up being fine the next day. But soon, i will still get stuck with the same issue. Call me stupid or whatever to get myself into such a situation, but i cant help it, really cant.
Yes, and now, im gonna turn in, wake up being fine tml. But really, i know i didnt solve my problem.
有没有永远再不会让心绝望的解药?
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