Hello people, its 31st december 2010.
Can you believe it? The whole year of 2010 just passed by like that. Time pass that fast, so fast that i cant believe its gonna be the end of 2010 in a few hours time.
Well, whatever it is, we cant get back those time that we've lost, so lets just welcome 2011.
2010 definitely has many ups and downs. Many unhappy times, many happy times. I wouldnt say its a great year, neither is it a bad year.
I've met different people, got into different situations which i dont want to, but its through all these which i've learnt.
I've got to know a bunch of good friends, know what's important to me, those people who went through tough times with you.
Well, but i dont deny that 2010 is a stressful year. Seriously, i didnt think that coming into poly would be that stressful, but perhaps its because i dont want to disappoint those people who care about me, thats why, i want to see myself improving.
And it is also in this year, when i keep feeling so empty. Idk why, but there are so many times, when i felt this emptiness within me, its as if you wanted to talk to someone, but there's no one. Not that there isnt anyone by your side, there is, but you just couldnt speak whats on your mind. And you just dont feel like talking, dont feel like doing anything else.
Idk why, yeah, maybe im stress, thats all.
I wonder why 2010 seems extremely short, perhaps its because im busy, pretty much busy this year.
But everything is gonna be over, coz when the new year starts, its a new beginning.
Sooooo, whats your new year resolutions?
Hmmm.... mine?
1. I want to get a higher gpa, do better in my studies.
2. I want to do better in cheer, work hard together with my fellow teammates to achieve our personal goals.
3. I want to be a happy girl! :D
Thats what i thought of so far, coz right now my life is revolving around studies and cheer.
Well, i will add on to it if i thought of more.
So people, happy new year to all of you, in a few more hours time, lets look forward to a better year ahead! :)
December 31, 2010
December 26, 2010
It means nothing, simply nothing
Currently blogging with my phone, so damn difficult to type a post with the phone, so many words, but I'm desperate to blog. I just feel like screaming out, shouting out all the feelings and unhappiness within me.
It isn't the first time. I've tolerated with it the first time, thinking that things have changed for the better, and no, its getting more and more ridiculous.
Yeah whatever, all my fault. I don't want to explain anything, coz explanation means
nothing, nobody believes in it totally unless you prove it to them.
I'm angry, fking angry, at myself for tolerating with it the first time. And angry with the childish act, and judging me in such a negative point of view.
All the misunderstandings started out because others don't understand and they make assumptions.
But I won't explain, I won't try to clear the misunderstanding.
Its not up to me to change anything, its the attitude.
Since it means nothing at all, I wouldn't care a single bit.
Wtf, learn to reflect upon what you've done.
It isn't the first time. I've tolerated with it the first time, thinking that things have changed for the better, and no, its getting more and more ridiculous.
Yeah whatever, all my fault. I don't want to explain anything, coz explanation means
nothing, nobody believes in it totally unless you prove it to them.
I'm angry, fking angry, at myself for tolerating with it the first time. And angry with the childish act, and judging me in such a negative point of view.
All the misunderstandings started out because others don't understand and they make assumptions.
But I won't explain, I won't try to clear the misunderstanding.
Its not up to me to change anything, its the attitude.
Since it means nothing at all, I wouldn't care a single bit.
Wtf, learn to reflect upon what you've done.
December 18, 2010
For everyone, for love.
Hello people!
Enjoying my holidays now, first week of holidays, so what have i done?
Hmmm, basically there were 3 days of training. And ermmm i went shopping, and the other days im resting at home i guess. Oh and yeah, had a thanks giving day with gusto on wednesday, and we had a bbq.
So, we juniors actually have to get a simple gift for the seniors, we were only informed the day before, so we could only do/buy it on the day itself. So in the end we decided to make chocolates for them.
Well, its my first time making chocolates, so im rather noob at it.
But its a fun experience though.
The process.... We spent the whole morning and afternoon preparing for it!
And then we waited for it to harden. okay i know from the picture it looks ugly, but at least it looks nicer after we took it out.
We did the icing, G for Gusto!
And there's the heart shape one.
So for each person, we gave 1 of each. the one with a heart, a G and the one which is in a rose. The rose one is only to make it look nice, though i think it doesnt really look nice.... And the G and heart shape are suppose to represent love gusto.
And finally, all our end product. Our hardwork pays off, after seeing everything packaged up, given to the seniors.
Well, but in fact the girls did most of the things. The guys did help, but just a little. They were watching tv, playing cards all the while!!!
Hahaha, but its fun, i dont mind doing it :D
Okay anyway, im only left with 2 weeks of holidays, gonna spent it wisely.
I wanna go picnic, i've been saying it for many times!
Oh and yesterday i went shopping, hehe i've got more things for myself, including those that just arrived from the blogshop!
And for today, its the last training for this year, as in 2010.
The attendance was really really bad, the worst i've ever seen. But training wasnt that bad though, at least we managed to do that sequence.
So.... looking forward to more upcoming activities this holiday!
And people, do enjoy your holidays too!
Enjoying my holidays now, first week of holidays, so what have i done?
Hmmm, basically there were 3 days of training. And ermmm i went shopping, and the other days im resting at home i guess. Oh and yeah, had a thanks giving day with gusto on wednesday, and we had a bbq.
So, we juniors actually have to get a simple gift for the seniors, we were only informed the day before, so we could only do/buy it on the day itself. So in the end we decided to make chocolates for them.
Well, its my first time making chocolates, so im rather noob at it.
But its a fun experience though.
The process.... We spent the whole morning and afternoon preparing for it!
And then we waited for it to harden. okay i know from the picture it looks ugly, but at least it looks nicer after we took it out.
We did the icing, G for Gusto!
And there's the heart shape one.
So for each person, we gave 1 of each. the one with a heart, a G and the one which is in a rose. The rose one is only to make it look nice, though i think it doesnt really look nice.... And the G and heart shape are suppose to represent love gusto.
And finally, all our end product. Our hardwork pays off, after seeing everything packaged up, given to the seniors.
Well, but in fact the girls did most of the things. The guys did help, but just a little. They were watching tv, playing cards all the while!!!
Hahaha, but its fun, i dont mind doing it :D
Okay anyway, im only left with 2 weeks of holidays, gonna spent it wisely.
I wanna go picnic, i've been saying it for many times!
Oh and yesterday i went shopping, hehe i've got more things for myself, including those that just arrived from the blogshop!
And for today, its the last training for this year, as in 2010.
The attendance was really really bad, the worst i've ever seen. But training wasnt that bad though, at least we managed to do that sequence.
So.... looking forward to more upcoming activities this holiday!
And people, do enjoy your holidays too!
December 10, 2010
We are all different
Life doesn't allow us to have everything, we have to make choices.
And if you don't, you just have to make sacrifices.
But is it worth you sacrificing so much?
It wasn't easy for me to come this far.
But when you are force to make a choice, you just have to choose what's best for you.
I don't feel good either, but we still need to do something about it.
May the storm end soon. Rainbow after the rain, I hope.
And if you don't, you just have to make sacrifices.
But is it worth you sacrificing so much?
It wasn't easy for me to come this far.
But when you are force to make a choice, you just have to choose what's best for you.
I don't feel good either, but we still need to do something about it.
May the storm end soon. Rainbow after the rain, I hope.
December 9, 2010
GOODBYE EXAMS, HELLO HOLIDAYS!
Hi im back for a post.
MST IS OVER! LETS WELCOME THE HOLIDAYS! :D
Ohh my can you imagine? Im actually at home, right after the paper.
I didnt go out, coz i wasnt really in the mood to.
Well, not that i did badly for my paper though, i guess im just tired.
But anw, i'll still be going out tml.
Hmmm so my papers were okay, all manageable i guess. But anw, i dont want to have any expectations, i've had enough of disappointment. And before we get back the papers, i shouldnt think of anything else that might disappoint me in the end.
Alright, i've got so many plans in this holiday.
Most important thing is, do i have the time to do everything that i want to?
And and and, MONEY! SO BROKE RECENTLY! Well i know im always complaining that im broke.
Im intending to watch rapunzel tml, heard its quite nice!
And tml, another shopping trip, though i keep complaining im broke, but end of year shopping is a must!
Okay anw speaking about holidays, let me list out some plans that i have.
1. Photo taking sessions! Definitely a must, have been saying it for so many times without doing.
2. More shopping trips! Seriously there's so much more things i wanna get.
3. Meet ups with fellow 4d1 classmates! :D If not we might not have the time when school reopens. (Hopefully someone will be nice enough to organize a class outing?)
4. Picnic! Okay this is random, but i seriously want to go picnic. I cant rmb when was the last time i go for picnic, or did i even go picnic before?
5. Christmas with gusto! :D
6. Watch movies/ dramas.
7. Get enough rest!
Well, i dont know if i can get everything done this holiday, coz i still have to go back school for training, but one thing i know, i have to get enough rest! I keep feeling so tired, and keep feeling that i didnt have a proper rest, not even during the weekends.
Initially, i intended to work during this holiday, but i guess 3 weeks, or maybe lesser, is too short for me to work right? And most probably, i cant work on sat, tue and thu. Yeah, so i decided, maybe i should wait till mar/apr.
Hmmm anw, seriously, time flies isnt it?
My mst is over, and when school reopens its gonna be a new year.
It doesnt really feel like december now, this year pass really fast right?
Well, to all those who are having their last paper tml, good luck.
And those ppl in other poly who havent start their common test, all the best too, while i can go enjoy my holidays! :D
MST IS OVER! LETS WELCOME THE HOLIDAYS! :D
Ohh my can you imagine? Im actually at home, right after the paper.
I didnt go out, coz i wasnt really in the mood to.
Well, not that i did badly for my paper though, i guess im just tired.
But anw, i'll still be going out tml.
Hmmm so my papers were okay, all manageable i guess. But anw, i dont want to have any expectations, i've had enough of disappointment. And before we get back the papers, i shouldnt think of anything else that might disappoint me in the end.
Alright, i've got so many plans in this holiday.
Most important thing is, do i have the time to do everything that i want to?
And and and, MONEY! SO BROKE RECENTLY! Well i know im always complaining that im broke.
Im intending to watch rapunzel tml, heard its quite nice!
And tml, another shopping trip, though i keep complaining im broke, but end of year shopping is a must!
Okay anw speaking about holidays, let me list out some plans that i have.
1. Photo taking sessions! Definitely a must, have been saying it for so many times without doing.
2. More shopping trips! Seriously there's so much more things i wanna get.
3. Meet ups with fellow 4d1 classmates! :D If not we might not have the time when school reopens. (Hopefully someone will be nice enough to organize a class outing?)
4. Picnic! Okay this is random, but i seriously want to go picnic. I cant rmb when was the last time i go for picnic, or did i even go picnic before?
5. Christmas with gusto! :D
6. Watch movies/ dramas.
7. Get enough rest!
Well, i dont know if i can get everything done this holiday, coz i still have to go back school for training, but one thing i know, i have to get enough rest! I keep feeling so tired, and keep feeling that i didnt have a proper rest, not even during the weekends.
Initially, i intended to work during this holiday, but i guess 3 weeks, or maybe lesser, is too short for me to work right? And most probably, i cant work on sat, tue and thu. Yeah, so i decided, maybe i should wait till mar/apr.
Hmmm anw, seriously, time flies isnt it?
My mst is over, and when school reopens its gonna be a new year.
It doesnt really feel like december now, this year pass really fast right?
Well, to all those who are having their last paper tml, good luck.
And those ppl in other poly who havent start their common test, all the best too, while i can go enjoy my holidays! :D
December 8, 2010
See how time flies,
Well time flies isnt it, its halfway through my mst. And, its december, coming to the end of the year!
Though i shouldnt be blogging now, but i've done my revision, this is just gonna be a short post and im going to bed.
Well anw, im left with 2 more papers, so looking forward to holidays, where i can relax for a little, dont get so stress up.
Well but i guess my holiday isnt really that good, coz i still have to go back for training...
Sigh, im so tired.
Well anw, i didnt know the media is so exaggerating until just now, when i read the newspaper.
It was the chinese newspaper, and they were talking about one of the recent star search contestant.
They said he blamed the role that he got, which caused him to lose. And i guess in actual fact, he only said he felt restricted by that role.
And i think much more negative remarks which he didnt really mention, and yet they interpret in some other way.
Hmmm, now we know how celebrities feel, when they have to deal with this kind of pressure from the media. Just imagine if you were them, and you didnt said such things, and people just misinterpret it, intentionally or unintentionally.
Okay, dont mind about what i've said, im just stating my commends of the media.
Alright, back to topic, so anw im just waiting for my papers to be over, and im gonna prepare lots of activities for myself.
I dont want to rot at home this holiday!
But before that, i need to clear my mst first, do it well!
Alright that'll be all, coming back for another post after mst, wait for me!
Though i shouldnt be blogging now, but i've done my revision, this is just gonna be a short post and im going to bed.
Well anw, im left with 2 more papers, so looking forward to holidays, where i can relax for a little, dont get so stress up.
Well but i guess my holiday isnt really that good, coz i still have to go back for training...
Sigh, im so tired.
Well anw, i didnt know the media is so exaggerating until just now, when i read the newspaper.
It was the chinese newspaper, and they were talking about one of the recent star search contestant.
They said he blamed the role that he got, which caused him to lose. And i guess in actual fact, he only said he felt restricted by that role.
And i think much more negative remarks which he didnt really mention, and yet they interpret in some other way.
Hmmm, now we know how celebrities feel, when they have to deal with this kind of pressure from the media. Just imagine if you were them, and you didnt said such things, and people just misinterpret it, intentionally or unintentionally.
Okay, dont mind about what i've said, im just stating my commends of the media.
Alright, back to topic, so anw im just waiting for my papers to be over, and im gonna prepare lots of activities for myself.
I dont want to rot at home this holiday!
But before that, i need to clear my mst first, do it well!
Alright that'll be all, coming back for another post after mst, wait for me!
December 3, 2010
Things never change, not a single bit.
When you meet with setbacks, you always told yourself to get up and pushes yourself forward.
When you meet with disappointment, you tried to turn it into motivation.
Yes, its easier said than done, things aint suppose to be that easy.
You want to be optimistic, you want to be confident, how can you ever do that if all that you see are failures?
Its just so disappointing, when you have hopes with you, set targets which you thought you will achieve just by working hard, but no, it doesnt turns out the way you thought.
Its so disappointing, when you couldnt even do a simple little thing just to meet up to your own expectation.
I just hate myself for this, why am i so competitive?
I wished i can let go a little, dont take things too hard, but i cant.
Coz i want to prove to myself, prove to others, to everyone.
I just dont know why it is always like that.
Im really wondering, have i made a wrong decision?
Maybe, some people, can actually turn disappointment to motivation, turn failure to success. Coz life is fair to them.
Yeah, but life isnt fair to everyone. In fact, its much more unfair than you can expect.
I just realized, from the past, till now, nothing ever changes.
Whatever i've seen now, is everything which i've seen in the past.
Being strong isnt just about saying "nevermind", "it's alright".
Being strong is just about not shedding a tear, for things which arent worth you crying about.
No, not easy, there arent many strong people around. Even though you tried hard to tell yourself it doesnt matter, dont be sad about such things, but you still will be.
I guess its time to face reality, that sometimes, you just got to fight for every single thing, because you aint as lucky as others.
Well right, even if thats the case, i still wish, that life can be a little more fair, just a little....
When you meet with disappointment, you tried to turn it into motivation.
Yes, its easier said than done, things aint suppose to be that easy.
You want to be optimistic, you want to be confident, how can you ever do that if all that you see are failures?
Its just so disappointing, when you have hopes with you, set targets which you thought you will achieve just by working hard, but no, it doesnt turns out the way you thought.
Its so disappointing, when you couldnt even do a simple little thing just to meet up to your own expectation.
I just hate myself for this, why am i so competitive?
I wished i can let go a little, dont take things too hard, but i cant.
Coz i want to prove to myself, prove to others, to everyone.
I just dont know why it is always like that.
Im really wondering, have i made a wrong decision?
Maybe, some people, can actually turn disappointment to motivation, turn failure to success. Coz life is fair to them.
Yeah, but life isnt fair to everyone. In fact, its much more unfair than you can expect.
I just realized, from the past, till now, nothing ever changes.
Whatever i've seen now, is everything which i've seen in the past.
Being strong isnt just about saying "nevermind", "it's alright".
Being strong is just about not shedding a tear, for things which arent worth you crying about.
No, not easy, there arent many strong people around. Even though you tried hard to tell yourself it doesnt matter, dont be sad about such things, but you still will be.
I guess its time to face reality, that sometimes, you just got to fight for every single thing, because you aint as lucky as others.
Well right, even if thats the case, i still wish, that life can be a little more fair, just a little....
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