A break from everything.

Today is our lovely friday.
Its the end of the week ((((:
A super tiring week.
Well seriously, this few weeks is really tiring for me.
I want a break.
I just have to endure through one more week.
I want the YOG break )))):

Well i'll tell you why this is such a tiring week.
Firstly, training took up two days of my week.
Well alright, this is as usual.
But whatever, i still love gusto as much <3
oh yeah and speaking of training.
On tue its the last training for dominic and rachel ):
Thats really very very sad.
Well, alright but all the best to both of them.
Okay, then i stayed back on wednesday for my dbe.
Wth, we are like doing art and craft?
Things we have not really been doing for quite some time.
And thu night after training i have to rush back home to do my ppt for dbe.
I stayed up till 2 plus i think? And i didnt even complete it.
And today, went to bugis to get the outfit for the presentation nxt tue.
I seriously put in lots of time and effort for this time dbe project.
I have to get my deserved marks.
And worse of all, i cant really fall asleep at night.
I dont know whats wrong with me, when i have the time to sleep, i cant sleep.
When i dont have the time to sleep, i keep dozing off.
I've been falling asleep during lectures and tutorials.
Omg, wads wrong with me?
Well, and my right wrist is super pain from ytd's training.

Everything is kind of stressful right now.
Actually yog isnt really like a break for me.
My first week is kind of packed.
I've got trainings, and i need to help out in those yog events.
Well, then i've got to study for the exams.
Especially so coz i havent been paying attention for lectures and tutorials.
I dont know why i've been so slack recently.
Seriously, complacency brings me no where.
I seemed to have forgotten what i promised myself.
Gosh, i've really got to buck up during the yog break.
):

Anw, today is a friday which is suppose to be an enjoyable day.
Yeah by right it should be.
But, after getting my outfit for the presentation i just head straight back home.
Idk why, im seriously not in the mood for shopping and everything.
I guess some things are still in my mind which i have not cleared.
Sometimes its quite stressful when you are influenced by others.
Intentionally or unintentionally, it doesnt matter.
Sometimes someday, i feel so alone.
Wanted to talk badly, but i dont know how to start with and who to start with.
If no one can listen to me, i would prefer to be alone.
I've been reminding myself not to be emo recently.
But somehow, i would have mood swings at least once in a week.
Perhaps im just too stressed recently?
I hope so.... and hopefully life's gonna be much better when everything is off my mind.

Well this is kind of random, but i just feel like posting this picture up.


My gusto family <3

Goodbye, i'll be blogging some other day.

If everything happen in the way we want....

Everytime i thought of it, it would happen.
Should i be happy or not?
Well, if thats the case, can everything just proceed in the way i want to?
Sometimes things can be so predictable.
Yet, sometimes its not.
Perhaps when you are feeling down, things wont turn out the way you want.
And when you are alright, not thinking about it anymore, things just happened and surprise you, which makes you think about it again.
Enough of my nonsense and crap which no one understands....

Well anw, just handed in my dbe project last week.
Pheww.... really felt much better after letting down that big big burden.
I hope i do well this time round.
Oh yah, thr's still the presentation coming up.
Alright 2 more wks, 2 more wks and im entitled to a break.
Or maybe not.
A short little break for myself, and then to start studying again for the exams ):
Time flies, really.
Everything just passed by so fast.
Lets see...
Its almost the end of july and we're nearing august.
I've left ctss for about 8 or 9 months?
Came into sp for about 3 going to 4 months?
Joined gusto for about 3 months?
And soon.. this semester is gonna be over.
So since time flies, lets just endure through for a while more.
Exams gonna be over really soon, and there comes our actual holiday.
Not the fake yog one.
Alright, byebye im off for a little break (:

Thinking....

Well i realized i always blog after training....
Thats because after training i always bath when i get home and i need to wait for my hair to dry and i got nth to do.
Yupp, well i dont know, but somehow i feel that training kind of take up quite a lot of my time.
Well im not grumbling and complaining, thats just what i feel.
And anw, i sort of feel that my life recently just revolve around gusto.
Sometimes when its not during training i will also talk abt that.
Erm maybe its a good thing? I've got a sense of belonging to gusto.
Well, anw, but today's training seemed really different.
First thing different: We did not do running.
Supposedly, it was a good thing.
But perhaps we didnt warm up and everything became so different.
The push-ups and everything.
Well, and second thing different: It was like raining throughout i tink?
Then third thing different: I've got no mood for training. I dont know why, but today just feel v weird to me, doesnt seem like training.
I dont know how to say it, but im just super sian during training, dont feel like doing everything and anything.
Well, enough said of training.
Let me go on to some other things.
This week is kind of a busy week.
Everytime when dbe project is due, i will feel damn super stress.
I dont know why either, but this week we are all trying to rush out our project, trying our best to do a good job this time round.
Well, sometimes i feel quite tired, when i have projects, and i dont have idea on how to go about doing it.
Well, i hope after this week, it will be much better.

Yeah and i was just randomly thinking of some things..
Some things which i felt i should say or at least type it out.
Hmmm.. how do you actually get some problems off your mind?
Sometimes you have decided not to think abt it anymore, but it still comes back to your mind.
Sometimes you can repeat the same logic to yourself over and over again, yet it doesnt go into your brain.
Its quite tiring, to be bothering about the same problem over and over again.
You may be able to tell others what to do.
Or perhaps you know what to do, but you just wont be able to do it when it comes to you.
Well alright, im not being emo, just stating some things which i want to state.
Alright im quite tired, im gonna sleep soon.
BYEBYE (:

One more chance!

From today onwards, i will try my very best to tell myself I CAN rather than I CANNOT.
You will see that i have changed.
And thats what i want to see in myself.
I will be stronger from now on.
Always give ourself one more chance.

If we take time to think....

After thinking for some time,
I think actually i shouldnt be feeling so down.
In fact, i should continue to motivate myself.
If i like it, i should accept it.
Seriously, after thinking, i feel that its quite stupid for me to feel so sad about it.
Actually it doesnt really matter right?
Well, alright im back up again.
Im perfectly fine now.
I will be better and better. I PROMISE MYSELF THIS.

This is life.

When efforts dont get paid off, when you dont reap what you sow.
Tell me how it feels.
Nothing is fair in this world.
True, but i can only accept the fact. what else?
You know i can gain confidence within a second, but i dont even need a second to lose my confidence.
Im still back to the same me.
Nothing ever change even though i tried.

Just being happy (:

Hello people.
Im really happy now.
Training's over.
You see, im always affected by training.
Well, why?
Coz today i can do the shoulder stand!!!
Hahaha. Well, maybe others would think its nothing much.
BUT FOR ME, ITS REALLY SOMETHING I SHOULD BE VERY PROUD OF.
You see, i can overcome my freaking idiot stupid ass height phobia and do one proper one.
Well, okay sry, maybe i didnt do a good and proper one, but at least i stood up.
Imagine me who didnt do elevator at all, but i stood up for shoulder stand!
Maybe to other flyers they might feel that shoulder stand is just a simple stunt, but for me its totally different.
Even though it may be simple or basic, there's still a height to it.
My legs were totally shaking and i was freaking scared before doing.
Yeah but thanks to the encouragement of the seniors and other cca-mates, i did one.
My first one was freaking embarrassing coz i dont even dare to come down, i need someone to carry me down.
Yupp, and when i went down, i almost cried.
Coz i was really so scared, my legs were shaking like mad.
Yupp, and i look so worried so nervous.
But actually im really happy.
Coz i told myself i finally tried.
But i guess practice really makes perfect.
Well, maybe not perfect, but at least it boosts up ur confidence isnt it?
Yupp, so i was seriously so happy.
Coz at first i injured my wrist, and i was so sad coz i wasnt allowed to do stunts.
Yeap. and when i went over to the first group for shoulder stand, i said i injured my wrist, and i was told not to do it first.
But when i went to the second grp, i felt that i should at least try, coz my wrist doesnt hurt that much anymore.
And luckily i did.
Its just about the first try, if you are willing to try once, you will be able to do it the nxt time.
Yeah, i have to force myself for that.
To overcome my phobia, i really need to do that.
Well, if only that time when i was doing elevator i had really force myself to try.
In fact shoulder stand is something like elevator, i mean the kind of feeling is more or less the same, perhaps not as scary.
And since i can do shoulder stand, i should be able to do elevator if i had tried the previous time....
Well, anw it doesnt matter. I just need to tell myself, try try and try.
Okay, and after training we also stayed back a while longer to try other stunts.
And i tried too!
Even though at first i keep saying i cannot.
But in the end i still stood up.
Maybe i should say i can. really its all about having some confidence with yourself and others.
Alright, so just a note for everyone.
For everything you do, try and have confidence with yourself.
Practice really makes you much better.




I promise to stop thinking about it anymore.

I have to stop.

I think i am too greedy.
I keep wanting more and more from you, expecting more and more which shouldnt be the case.
I have to and need to stop.
Bring me back to reality.
I need to leave my dreamland.
We have to understand, some people can only be in our hearts, not our lives.