When i said i miss my life, i really do. Because over there, it feels like im leading a life of my own. An independent one, one that i know i have to make my own decisions, face my own consequences. One that i do not have to answer to anyone but myself. One that i do not need to care about anyone's opinions, do not have to worry about anyone judging me. Yes i do miss that badly.
When i got back to Singapore, it felt like i have to deal with a lot of things. All the stress are coming back again. I was working really hard during the 3 years in poly just because i want to get into a local uni. Now that i was given the offer, i hesitated. Because i got a different perception about life. Why am i stressing myself so much? Living in the states has made me realized about how much fun i missed out during my childhood and my teenage years. I cared about how people think of me, about what people says, and everything kinda affects me. I'm leading a life that society wants me to lead, not a life of my own. This doesn't makes sense.
Well, ultimately, i still did accept my uni offer, just because as of now, i guess that's what i need to and have to do. But what awaits me in the future, i don't know. After i graduate, i don't know. I want something different. Because i think my perception of life changes, i think there's a need for us to pursue what we want.
I miss everything there. I know i should be contented that i even got the chance to be in the states for half a year, and i shouldn't be complaining that much. Well, comparisons are easily done once you have had a taste of perfection. Who would want anything lesser?
I really miss him so much. I miss those times when i had someone who cared so much about me. I felt important. Everything we did together, i remembered it all. I miss him a lot, i miss those times a lot. I still cry when i think about it. Because i know all those times were nothing but memories. And never would we have to chance to do what we used to do again. I know crying doesn't help, i know i should be glad that i met him, i know i should be contented that i have those good memories with me. I know, i know, i know. But its all easier said than done. It's human nature. We always want more than what we were given. I know its time to move on. He probably did. Someday i would too, i just dont know when. Time heals everything, time helps you to let go of things, time helps you to move on, even if you don't want to. I know i will, but... i rather not. Because all those times we spent together were so precious to me. He's so important to me. It hurts to know that few years down the road, we probably will just be strangers or maybe, friends who don't talk anymore?
Well, probably this is life. What's yours is yours, what's not yours, will never be yours.
"How lucky i am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard" - Quoted by my favourite pooh.
Yeah maybe, i should consider myself lucky. I mean, there's nothing i can do anymore, its not up to me to decide. Okay enough of all these.
Well, just some pictures during my last 2 weeks of travelling in US. I went to new york, washington and miami. Spent my last 5 days in orlando. I was in new york for a total of 10 days!! Which i kinda regretted because i think that's too long to be honest. Should have spent more time in washington or maybe, in orlando.
The second day when i arrived at new york, it was snowing!! Was so excited coz it was my first time seeing snow!
This is times square!!
At grand central terminal!
This is at central park.
Me with my colourful bag of M&Ms with i bought from world of M&Ms!
Me and xj in front of flat iron building!
Again at central park. This time there was snow on the floor.
Brooklyn bridge!
View from the 86th storey of empire state building.
Statue of liberty!!
Its quite disappointing that we can't go up the island due to some damage caused by hurricane sandy. Well but its still great even though we see it from far!
Over at niagara falls! The view of it at night!
The dayview!
This is over at washington! The white house!
Cherry blossom. Too bad they are not bloom.
Capitol building.
Over at miami, south beach. Well i wasn't that excited because i've been to south beach the other time when i came back from disney cruise. But still, south beach is a pretty nice beach.
Well, that's pretty much it to sum up my 2 weeks vacation in US. About two more weeks and i'm going to taiwan. Excited? Yeah a little since i've always wanted to go there. Alright i hope i'll have lots and lots of fun. After taiwan, it will be time for me to get a job! Have been resting too long since i got back from the states.
Guess that's pretty much it. Shall update some other time. Goodbye! (:
